IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe that it is better to live in a city than in a rural area. Others argue that life in the countryside is preferable. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #city #area #life #countryside
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Nowadays, many
people
Use synonyms
 assume that
are
Correct pronoun usage
there are
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 many
benefits
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 to living in a
city
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 than a rural area,
however
Linking Words
, is lot of
community
Fix the agreement mistake
communities
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 say living in the
countryside
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preferable
Add a missing verb
is preferable
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. I will discuss a couple of things above
according to
Linking Words
 my opinion from environmental, personal, and economic perspectives. On the one hand,
that
Correct pronoun usage
there
show examples
 are several
benefits
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 to
life
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 inside the
city
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such
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 as having many jobs in surrounding
areas
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 because there are many companies that need job seekers and
people
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 are able to apply for jobs
easier
Replace the word
easily
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 than
counryside
Correct your spelling
countryside
,
this
Linking Words
 situation has
benefits
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people
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 who need some job on their lives.
For instance
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, many individuals who move from the
countryside
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 to gain a job there can easily offer their skills to some company in order to increase their
economical
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economic
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 and be able to change their living standard.
In addition
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, living in a
city
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nearby
Correct your spelling
near
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 shopping
centre
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centres
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 and
playground
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playgrounds
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,
therefore
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,
people
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 do not have to spend their time and money to find
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
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.
On the other hand
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,
life
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 in the
countryside
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 has several
benefits
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such
Linking Words
 as a friendly environment.
For instance
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, the
countryside
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 has good behaviour in their society because
between
Change preposition
apply
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neighbour
Fix the agreement mistake
neighbours
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 are able to help each other,
therefore
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 society in
a rural
Correct the article-noun agreement
rural areas
a rural area
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areas
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 is not worried if they have many problems
such
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 as needing money for something important and can protect each other.
In addition
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,
life
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 in rural
areas
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 never causes
traffict
Correct your spelling
traffic
and air pollution because the street activities are not as busy as in the
city
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 centre and no factories in the
countryside
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 that can produce air pollution on a high scale. In conclusion,
life
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 in the
city
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 centre is beneficial for companies,
however
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,
life
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 in a rural
city
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 is more convenient because has a good environment for each other.
Therefore
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,
life
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 in
this
Linking Words
 couple's area depends on individual needs. They can choose between these two
areas
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according to
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 their purpose or goals.
Submitted by patricius.yohanes on

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language
Be sure to thoroughly proofread your essay for grammar and clarity. Avoid missing articles and pay attention to subject-verb agreement. Adjust your vocabulary to ensure it's appropriate and precise.
structure
Make sure each paragraph has a single clear main point. It might help to keep paragraphs shorter and more focused, and each should support the overall topic of discussion.
content
Provide more relevant examples that directly substantiate your points. Use specific details and elaborate on them to strengthen your argument and illustrate your points vividly.
content
You have identified and discussed the perspectives on both urban and rural living, giving your opinion in the conclusion.
structure
The essay is organized into clear paragraphs, each aimed at discussing specific aspects or points.
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