You eat at your college cafeteria every lunchtime. However, you think it needs some improvements. Write a letter to the college magazine. In your letter: explain what you like bout the cafeteria say what is wrong suggest how it could be improved

Dear Editor, I am writing
this
letter to bring to your attention
about
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apply
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some improvements
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that needs
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needs
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need
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to be implemented in the
cafeteria
to make it comfortable for students. To start with,
menu
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a menu
the menu
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of lunch and breakfast is well curated, and
preparation
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the preparation
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of breakfast and lunch
item
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items
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is really hygienic and tasty. The ambience of the
cafeteria
is
also
nice and
murals
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the murals
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on
walls
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the walls
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looks
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look
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awesome and
gives
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give
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a feeling of sitting in a restaurant.
However
, there are certain areas which
needs
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need
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upliftment particularly payment system and serving of food. As you are aware
that
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apply
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we have only one
cafeteria
for
whole
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the whole
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college. It makes
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it difficult
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difficult
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it difficult
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for students to make
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payments
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payment
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payments
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in cash
due to
long queues.
Also
,
serving
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the serving
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of
foods
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food
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is lousy by
cafeteria
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the cafeteria
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staff. it needs to be quick as
student
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students
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have limited
time
for lunch or breakfast.
Therefore
, I will request you to please begin
cashless
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a cashless
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transaction system like using PayPal or Gpay system. It will reduce
crowd
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crowds
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in peak
time
.
cafeteria
staff should be trained to serve more people in quick
time
,
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apply
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so that students do not have to wait for their meals. cutting down the waiting
time
for payment
as well as
serving food will only benefit
cafeteria
management. They will be able to serve more people in
short
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a short
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time
by implementing these suggestions. Hope you work on my suggestions and implement them in
near
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the near
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future. Yours faithfully, Jim Lauren
Submitted by yash334 on

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coherence cohesion
To further improve coherence and cohesion, consider using more transitional words and phrases to connect ideas smoothly, such as 'Furthermore,' 'Moreover,' and 'On the other hand.'
task achievement
Ensure you maintain a consistent tone throughout your letter. Some phrases appear somewhat informal for a formal letter, such as 'The ambience of the cafeteria is also nice.' Consider using 'The ambiance of the cafeteria is also pleasant.'
coherence cohesion
Strong greeting and closing that adhere to formal letter-writing conventions.
task achievement
The letter adequately addresses each part of the task, providing a complete response.
coherence cohesion
Each paragraph focuses on a single idea, which improves readability and understanding.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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