You eat at your college cafeteria every lunchtime. However, you think it needs some improvements. Write a letter to the college magazine. In your letter: explain what you like bout the cafeteria say what is wrong suggest how it could be improved
Dear Editor,
I am writing
this
letter to bring to your attention about
some improvements Change preposition
apply
Correct pronoun usage
that needs
needs
to be implemented in the Correct subject-verb agreement
need
cafeteria
to make it comfortable for students. To start with, menu
of lunch and breakfast is well curated, and Add an article
a menu
the menu
preparation
of breakfast and lunch Correct article usage
the preparation
item
is really hygienic and tasty. The ambience of the Fix the agreement mistake
items
cafeteria
is also
nice and murals
on Correct article usage
the murals
walls
Correct article usage
the walls
looks
awesome and Change the verb form
look
gives
a feeling of sitting in a restaurant.
Change the verb form
give
However
, there are certain areas which needs
upliftment particularly payment system and serving of food. As you are aware Change the verb form
need
that
we have only one Correct word choice
apply
cafeteria
for whole
college. It makes Change the article
the whole
Correct pronoun usage
it difficult
difficult
for students to make Correct pronoun usage
it difficult
Fix the agreement mistake
payments
payment
in cash Fix the agreement mistake
payments
due to
long queues. Also
, serving
of Correct article usage
the serving
foods
is lousy by Fix the agreement mistake
food
cafeteria
staff. it needs to be quick as Add an article
the cafeteria
student
have limited Fix the agreement mistake
students
time
for lunch or breakfast.
Therefore
, I will request you to please begin cashless
transaction system like using PayPal or Gpay system. It will reduce Correct article usage
a cashless
crowd
in peak Fix the agreement mistake
crowds
time
. cafeteria
staff should be trained to serve more people in quick time
,
so that students do not have to wait for their meals. cutting down the waiting Remove the comma
apply
time
for payment as well as
serving food will only benefit cafeteria
management. They will be able to serve more people in short
Add an article
a short
time
by implementing these suggestions.
Hope you work on my suggestions and implement them in near
future.
Yours faithfully,
Jim LaurenCorrect article usage
the near
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coherence cohesion
To further improve coherence and cohesion, consider using more transitional words and phrases to connect ideas smoothly, such as 'Furthermore,' 'Moreover,' and 'On the other hand.'
task achievement
Ensure you maintain a consistent tone throughout your letter. Some phrases appear somewhat informal for a formal letter, such as 'The ambience of the cafeteria is also nice.' Consider using 'The ambiance of the cafeteria is also pleasant.'
coherence cohesion
Strong greeting and closing that adhere to formal letter-writing conventions.
task achievement
The letter adequately addresses each part of the task, providing a complete response.
coherence cohesion
Each paragraph focuses on a single idea, which improves readability and understanding.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite