It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #risks #lives

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Taking

risks

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became significant for individual’s

lives

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for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

their

proffessional

Correct your spelling

professional

lives

Use synonyms

as well as

Linking Words

their personal

lives

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. Despite some

possitive

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positive

effects, I

ceartinly

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certainly

believe that

disadvantages

Correct article usage

the disadvantages

show examples

are outweighed

Wrong verb form

outweigh

show examples

the advantages. First and

above all

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, there are two main advantages.

First

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The first

show examples

one is,

Correct word choice

that if

show examples

the

risk

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taken has good results, it can cause

people

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who take

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risk

Fix the agreement mistake

risks

show examples

, to meet new

people

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and build qualified networks.

For instance

Linking Words

, my sister used

this

Linking Words

education interval to go to Germany and interrupted her school for a

while

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during her university years and now she's married to someone she met there and they have a company. And

secondly

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, individuals who take

risks

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can make a lot of money thanks to the

risks

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they

took

Wrong verb form

take

show examples

According to

Linking Words

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

news, many

people

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who took

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risk

Fix the agreement mistake

risks

show examples

and bought coins, in 2010, have now millions of dollars.

Although

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the mentioned

possitive

Correct your spelling

positive

effectes

Correct your spelling

effects

, there are two essential disadvantages of taking

risks

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Firstly

Linking Words

people

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who

took

Wrong verb form

take

show examples

risks

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would lose their money,

Linking Words

besides

Correct word choice

and besides

show examples

that, lose their

times

Fix the agreement mistake

time

show examples

which is the most important

things

Fix the agreement mistake

thing

show examples

for

Change preposition

show examples

their

lives

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For instance

Linking Words

, a woman I have been following for years

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

left her job in a well-known company

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

took a

risk

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with her husband and moved to a completely different country.

And years

Correct word choice

Years

show examples

later, she told

what

Correct pronoun usage

them what

show examples

they had experienced and explained that

Linking Words

this

Correct determiner usage

the

show examples

risk

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they took in

this

Linking Words

process was only a waste of time and that they lost all the money they had.

Secondly

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, when the

risks

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taken

Fix the infinitive

apply

show examples

do not have good results, they can cause

people

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occure

Correct your spelling

experience

mental issues

such

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as depression and anxiety. In conclusion,

people

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have to realise that mental health and the time they have is more important and they should be careful when taking

risks

Use synonyms

Submitted by nur.kaya on Wed Jun 05 2024

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task response

Your essay addresses the topic by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of taking risks in professional and personal lives. However, you could improve the completeness of your response by expanding on the advantages and disadvantages more evenly.

coherence cohesion

To improve the logical structure, try to use more cohesive devices and transition words to guide the reader through your arguments. This will help with the overall flow of the essay.

coherence cohesion

Ensure you proofread your work to fix minor spelling and grammatical errors. This will make your essay more polished and professional.

coherence cohesion

Your conclusion effectively emphasizes the importance of mental health and careful consideration when taking risks. This provides a strong ending to your essay.

task response

The examples you provided, such as the story about your sister and the woman who moved to a different country, are relevant and help support your points effectively.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
26
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

288 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Opportunities
Growth
Innovation
Challenges
Self-discovery
Resilience
Uncertainty
Consequences
Calculated risks
Stagnation
Regret
Comfort zone
Entrepreneurship
Adventurous spirit
Thriving
Failure
Mitigate
Reap the rewards

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It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

Last week, you visited a local supermarket and you got satisfactory service. Write a letter to the supermarket manager to thank. In your letter: - introduce yourself; - say why you are satisfied; - say thank you and write about your future visits.

organizing a large family celebration such as a wedding can often create problems. what are the possible problems and solutions?

The working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend. DO you agree or disagree?

Each country has its own charity organizations. Sometimes people think that those organizations should only offer help to their own country while others thinks they are supposed to give aid to people in great need wherever they live. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Many people believe that social networking sites (such as Facebook, Zalo,...) have a negative impact on both individuals and society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?