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Band 4

Nowadays, traffic is a serious problem in big cities. Why is this so and what effects does it bring?

#traffic #cities #effects
In
this
 day and age,
traffic
 is becoming a
problem
 in different countries.
Also
,
this
problem
 is obtaining
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
sharing with other countries and all governments would create any solution to resolve
this
problem
. First and foremost, there are several reasons for the increase in
traffic
.Concerning the issue
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the
roads
, it has become the most popular issue in most cities.
For instance
, in Riyadh, we are facing the same
problem
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
 in spite of, we have public transport, even though people
did
Wrong verb form
do
show examples
 not prefer to use public transport. That's why we do not assess ourselves to tackle
this
 complication. Another major
problem
 is
increasing
Correct article usage
the increasing
show examples
 population in some countries. These days, we observed that the population increased substantially. As follows, in Egypt, the
traffic
 on the
roads
Correct subject-verb agreement
appears
show examples
appear
Correct subject-verb agreement
appears
show examples
 like a fight to reach your destinations. Under these circumstances, the governments have to expand
roads
 rapidly.
On the other hand
, there are many solutions to minimise
this
 issue. The first effective measure is that every
families
Change to a singular noun
family
show examples
 use one car and people have to share with their family one car or take public transport. Governments must expand
road
Fix the agreement mistake
roads
show examples
 in order to
enough
Add a missing verb
be enough
show examples
 for everyone
also
 they should
rise
Verb problem
increase
show examples
 the number of exits to avoid accidents.
To sum up
, there are potential reasons for the
traffic
 on the
roads
,
such
 as lack of resources to build new ways.
However
, there are some solutions to resolve
this
problem
that
is
Correct your spelling
as
show examples
 online work during peak hours .
Submitted by nahlaalrashidi on

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task achievement
Work on making your introduction more engaging and clear. The phrase 'this problem is obtaining on sharing with other countries' is confusing. Try to introduce the problem concisely and set the tone for the essay.
coherence cohesion
Use more cohesive devices to connect ideas and paragraphs. Words such as 'however', 'therefore', and 'moreover' can help in making your writing flow better.
task achievement
The essay presents clear and relevant points supporting reasons for traffic problems and potential solutions.
coherence cohesion
You have made a good attempt to organize the essay with paragraphs dedicated to specific points, such as reasons and solutions.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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