IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Nowadays, traffic is a serious problem in big cities. Why is this so and what effects does it bring?

#traffic #cities #effects
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In
this
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 day and age,
traffic
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 is becoming a
problem
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 in different countries.
Also
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,
this
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problem
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 is obtaining
on
Change preposition
apply
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sharing with other countries and all governments would create any solution to resolve
this
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problem
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. First and foremost, there are several reasons for the increase in
traffic
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.Concerning the issue
on
Change preposition
of
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 the
roads
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, it has become the most popular issue in most cities.
For instance
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, in Riyadh, we are facing the same
problem
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everyday
Replace the word
every day
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 in spite of, we have public transport, even though people
did
Wrong verb form
do
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 not prefer to use public transport. That's why we do not assess ourselves to tackle
this
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 complication. Another major
problem
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 is
increasing
Correct article usage
the increasing
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 population in some countries. These days, we observed that the population increased substantially. As follows, in Egypt, the
traffic
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 on the
roads
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Correct subject-verb agreement
appears
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appear
Correct subject-verb agreement
appears
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 like a fight to reach your destinations. Under these circumstances, the governments have to expand
roads
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 rapidly.
On the other hand
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, there are many solutions to minimise
this
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 issue. The first effective measure is that every
families
Change to a singular noun
family
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 use one car and people have to share with their family one car or take public transport. Governments must expand
road
Fix the agreement mistake
roads
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 in order to
enough
Add a missing verb
be enough
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 for everyone
also
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 they should
rise
Verb problem
increase
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 the number of exits to avoid accidents.
To sum up
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, there are potential reasons for the
traffic
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 on the
roads
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,
such
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 as lack of resources to build new ways.
However
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, there are some solutions to resolve
this
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problem
Use synonyms
that
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is
Correct your spelling
as
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 online work during peak hours .
Submitted by nahlaalrashidi on

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task achievement
Work on making your introduction more engaging and clear. The phrase 'this problem is obtaining on sharing with other countries' is confusing. Try to introduce the problem concisely and set the tone for the essay.
coherence cohesion
Use more cohesive devices to connect ideas and paragraphs. Words such as 'however', 'therefore', and 'moreover' can help in making your writing flow better.
task achievement
The essay presents clear and relevant points supporting reasons for traffic problems and potential solutions.
coherence cohesion
You have made a good attempt to organize the essay with paragraphs dedicated to specific points, such as reasons and solutions.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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