IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

You have received a letter from your bank, asking you to acknowledge receipt of a new bank card. However, the card was missing from the envelope. Write a letter to the bank's head office. In your letter: explain why you are writing express concern about the missing card ask them what they intend to do Write at least 150 words. You do NOT need to write any address. Begin your letter as follows: Dear __________

#bank #receipt #card #envelope #head #office #concern #address #__________
Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing to
show
Verb problem
express
show examples
 my concern regarding not receiving my debit
card
 in the new customer onboarding parcel. I opened my
bank
 account with HDFC
bank
Capitalize word
Bank
show examples
, using
online
Add an article
the online
show examples
 facility provided by the
bank
 and , I was expecting my banking documents
though
Correct your spelling
through
show examples
 the post service which includes
credit
Correct article usage
a credit
show examples
card
,
Correct word choice
and check
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check book
Correct your spelling
chequebook
show examples
. I received an envelope on the 27th of June from HDFC
Bank
, Mumbai branch.
While
 opening the parcel I found
banking
Correct pronoun usage
my banking
show examples
card
 missing. I was planning to go to my home town next week and need a banking
card
 to make online payments
of
Change preposition
for
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 my flight bookings.
This
 was one of the main
motive
Change to a plural noun
motives
show examples
 for opening
account
Correct article usage
an account
show examples
 with your
bank
. I would request you to take
couple
Change the article
a couple
show examples
 of actions in
this
 matter.
Firstly
, Please investigate the cause of
missing
Correct article usage
the missing
show examples
card
 in the first parcel, and
also
 send another credit
card
 to my address on
urgent
Correct article usage
an urgent
show examples
 basis. I look forward to hearing from you. Yours sincerely, Sandeep
Submitted by sandeepniet17 on

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grammar
Check for minor grammatical errors, especially with article usage (e.g., 'using the online facility', 'received a rather than 'an') and punctuation.
details
Add a bit more detail or context to explain why it is crucial to have the banking card for your trip; this will enhance task achievement by providing a fuller response.
tone
The tone of the letter is polite and formal, fitting for communication with a bank.
clarity
You have clearly explained the situation, why it concerns you, and what actions you hope the bank will take.
structure
The letter is generally well-organized and maintains focus on the main idea in each paragraph.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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