Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctors. Do you think this is positive or negative trend?
In
recents
Correct your spelling
recent
day
, many people have Fix the agreement mistake
days
Add an article
an illness
the illness
illness
, Fix the agreement mistake
illnesses
prefering
using Correct your spelling
preferring
the
Correct article usage
apply
alternative
medicines
or treatments
to conventional medical treatments
. This
trend can bring a positive result, but it's
negative impact Correct your spelling
its
of
Change preposition
apply
it
on health Correct pronoun usage
apply
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
need
to be considered. Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
Therefore
i
strongly believe that Change the capitalization
I
this
situation is an
negative development.
One useful consequence of Change the article
a
this
trend is the heavy emphasis on the
Correct article usage
apply
natuarl
functions, many people Correct your spelling
natural
seek
to use Correct pronoun usage
who seek
thes
type of Correct your spelling
this
these
medicine
tend to approach the
natural Correct article usage
apply
treatments
that can help them recover without using drugs or medical treatments
. For example
, herbal medicine
which is regconized
Correct your spelling
recognized
thet
can effectively reduce the conditions of allergies and Correct your spelling
that
chronics symptom
. Meanwhile, the Fix the agreement mistake
chronic symptoms
demeris
of Correct your spelling
demerits
this
tendency causes numerous problem
on Fix the agreement mistake
problems
people
well-being, patients who opt Change noun form
people's
to
Change preposition
for
this
Correct determiner usage
these
treatmets
often don't believe in Correct your spelling
treatment
treatments
science
experiences, Replace the word
scientific
espacially
the Correct your spelling
especially
medicines
which is
created in Change the verb form
are
labortary
and they usually avoid the treatment from Correct your spelling
laboratory
profeesional
doctors. Correct your spelling
professional
The one
clear example is that the person who Correct article usage
One
suffers
from cancer or some serious chronic diseases don't use Correct subject-verb agreement
suffer
the
specialized health care or Correct article usage
apply
medicine
, it
Correct pronoun usage
they
is threatened
their own life for the wrong religion.
Wrong verb form
threaten
Moreover
, the use of alternative
medicines
can result in delays in receiving proper medical care. In some cases, patients choose to forego or delay necessary medical treatments
in favour of alternative
options, which can result in the progression of their illness or condition. This
can lead to complications, higher medical costs, and even death in severe cases. An example of the negative impact of relying solely on alternative
medicines
is the case of Steve Jobs, the co-founder of Apple Inc. Jobs was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. He initially
chose to rely on alternative
medicine
and delayed conventional medical treatment. By the time he eventually sought medical intervention, it was too late.
In conclusion, the
Correct article usage
apply
alternative
medicines
can bring the
natural Correct article usage
apply
treatments
for the
patients, but the negative results can lead their Correct article usage
apply
life
to dangerous cases.Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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on
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task achievement
Your introduction includes your viewpoint, but it could be clearer and more concise. Ensure you state your stance explicitly at the beginning and provide a brief outline of the main points you'll cover.
coherence cohesion
You should strengthen your conclusion by summarizing the key points discussed in your essay, restating your opinion more powerfully. This will leave a stronger impression on the reader.
coherence cohesion
Try to group your similar ideas together more effectively. It will make your main points easier to follow and improve the logical flow of your essay.
task achievement
Although your examples are relevant, ensure each one thoroughly supports your point. There should be a direct link between your point and the example provided.
task achievement
Work on reducing grammatical errors, particularly in sentence structure and spelling. For instance, 'illness, prefering using' should be 'illnesses, preferring to use'. Checking your work for these minor errors would increase clarity and professionalism.
coherence cohesion
Focus on using cohesive devices (e.g., 'furthermore', 'in addition') correctly to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Using more synonyms and varied sentence structures will prevent repetition and keep the reader engaged. For instance, you can replace 'emphasis on the natuarl functions' with 'focus on natural remedies'.
task achievement
You provided a clear stance on the issue, and your examples were relevant to the points made.
task achievement
The essay included both positive and negative aspects of using alternative medicines and treatments, showing a balanced approach.
coherence cohesion
Each body paragraph had a clear main idea, illustrated by examples or explanations, which is good practice.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite