Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctors. Do you think this is positive or negative trend?

#people #health #alternative #medicines #treatments #doctors #trend

recents

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recent

day

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days

show examples

, many people have

Add an article

an illness

the illness

show examples

illness

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illnesses

show examples

prefering

Correct your spelling

preferring

using

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

alternative

medicines

treatments

to conventional medical

treatments

This

trend can bring a positive result, but

it's

Correct your spelling

its

show examples

negative impact

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apply

show examples

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

on health

that

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

need

Correct subject-verb agreement

needs

show examples

to be considered.

Therefore

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strongly believe that

this

situation is

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show examples

negative development. One useful consequence of

this

trend is the heavy emphasis on

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

natuarl

Correct your spelling

natural

functions, many people

seek

Correct pronoun usage

who seek

show examples

to use

thes

Correct your spelling

this

these

type of

medicine

tend to approach

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

natural

treatments

that can help them recover without using drugs or medical

treatments

For example

, herbal

medicine

which is

regconized

Correct your spelling

recognized

thet

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that

can effectively reduce the conditions of allergies and

chronics symptom

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chronic symptoms

show examples

. Meanwhile, the

demeris

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demerits

this

tendency causes numerous

problem

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problems

show examples

people

Change noun form

people's

show examples

well-being, patients who opt

Change preposition

for

show examples

this

Correct determiner usage

these

show examples

treatmets

Correct your spelling

treatment

treatments

often don't believe in

science

Replace the word

scientific

show examples

experiences,

espacially

Correct your spelling

especially

the

medicines

which

Change the verb form

are

show examples

created in

labortary

Correct your spelling

laboratory

and they usually avoid the treatment from

profeesional

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professional

doctors.

The one

Correct article usage

One

show examples

clear example is that the person who

suffers

Correct subject-verb agreement

suffer

show examples

from cancer or some serious chronic diseases don't use

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

specialized health care or

medicine

Correct pronoun usage

they

show examples

is threatened

Wrong verb form

threaten

show examples

their own life for the wrong religion.

Moreover

, the use of

alternative

medicines

can result in delays in receiving proper medical care. In some cases, patients choose to forego or delay necessary medical

treatments

in favour of

alternative

options, which can result in the progression of their illness or condition.

This

can lead to complications, higher medical costs, and even death in severe cases. An example of the negative impact of relying solely on

alternative

medicines

is the case of Steve Jobs, the co-founder of Apple Inc. Jobs was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. He

initially

chose to rely on

alternative

medicine

and delayed conventional medical treatment. By the time he eventually sought medical intervention, it was too late. In conclusion,

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

alternative

medicines

can bring

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

natural

treatments

for

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

patients, but the negative results can lead their

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

to dangerous cases.

Submitted by [email protected] on Thu Jun 06 2024

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task achievement

Your introduction includes your viewpoint, but it could be clearer and more concise. Ensure you state your stance explicitly at the beginning and provide a brief outline of the main points you'll cover.

coherence cohesion

You should strengthen your conclusion by summarizing the key points discussed in your essay, restating your opinion more powerfully. This will leave a stronger impression on the reader.

coherence cohesion

Try to group your similar ideas together more effectively. It will make your main points easier to follow and improve the logical flow of your essay.

task achievement

Although your examples are relevant, ensure each one thoroughly supports your point. There should be a direct link between your point and the example provided.

task achievement

Work on reducing grammatical errors, particularly in sentence structure and spelling. For instance, 'illness, prefering using' should be 'illnesses, preferring to use'. Checking your work for these minor errors would increase clarity and professionalism.

coherence cohesion

Focus on using cohesive devices (e.g., 'furthermore', 'in addition') correctly to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs.

coherence cohesion

Using more synonyms and varied sentence structures will prevent repetition and keep the reader engaged. For instance, you can replace 'emphasis on the natuarl functions' with 'focus on natural remedies'.

task achievement

You provided a clear stance on the issue, and your examples were relevant to the points made.

task achievement

The essay included both positive and negative aspects of using alternative medicines and treatments, showing a balanced approach.

coherence cohesion

Each body paragraph had a clear main idea, illustrated by examples or explanations, which is good practice.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
41Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

318 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctors. Do you think this is positive or negative trend?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

You have rented a house by a lake for the summer. Write a letter to a friend. In your letter • describe the house • describe how you are spending your time there • invite your friend to come and visit

In your opinion. What has been the most significant transportation innovation of the past 200 years? Support your opinion with reasons and examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some countries achieve international sports by building specialised facilities to train top athletes, instead of providing sports facilities that everyone can use. Do you think this is positive or negative development? Discuss both views and give your opinion.