Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctors. Do you think this is positive or negative trend?

In
recents
Correct your spelling
recent
day
Fix the agreement mistake
days
show examples
, many people have
Add an article
an illness
the illness
show examples
illness
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illnesses
show examples
,
prefering
Correct your spelling
preferring
using
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
alternative
medicines
or
treatments
to conventional medical
treatments
.
This
trend can bring a positive result, but
it's
Correct your spelling
its
show examples
negative impact
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
on health
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
need
Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
show examples
to be considered.
Therefore
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
strongly believe that
this
situation is
an
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a
show examples
negative development. One useful consequence of
this
trend is the heavy emphasis on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
natuarl
Correct your spelling
natural
functions, many people
seek
Correct pronoun usage
who seek
show examples
to use
thes
Correct your spelling
this
these
type of
medicine
tend to approach
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
natural
treatments
that can help them recover without using drugs or medical
treatments
.
For example
, herbal
medicine
which is
regconized
Correct your spelling
recognized
thet
Correct your spelling
that
can effectively reduce the conditions of allergies and
chronics symptom
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chronic symptoms
show examples
. Meanwhile, the
demeris
Correct your spelling
demerits
of
this
tendency causes numerous
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
on
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
well-being, patients who opt
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
treatmets
Correct your spelling
treatment
treatments
often don't believe in
science
Replace the word
scientific
show examples
experiences,
espacially
Correct your spelling
especially
the
medicines
which
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
created in
labortary
Correct your spelling
laboratory
and they usually avoid the treatment from
profeesional
Correct your spelling
professional
doctors.
The one
Correct article usage
One
show examples
clear example is that the person who
suffers
Correct subject-verb agreement
suffer
show examples
from cancer or some serious chronic diseases don't use
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
specialized health care or
medicine
,
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
is threatened
Wrong verb form
threaten
show examples
their own life for the wrong religion.
Moreover
, the use of
alternative
medicines
can result in delays in receiving proper medical care. In some cases, patients choose to forego or delay necessary medical
treatments
in favour of
alternative
options, which can result in the progression of their illness or condition.
This
can lead to complications, higher medical costs, and even death in severe cases. An example of the negative impact of relying solely on
alternative
medicines
is the case of Steve Jobs, the co-founder of Apple Inc. Jobs was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. He
initially
chose to rely on
alternative
medicine
and delayed conventional medical treatment. By the time he eventually sought medical intervention, it was too late. In conclusion,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
alternative
medicines
can bring
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
natural
treatments
for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
patients, but the negative results can lead their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
to dangerous cases.
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task achievement
Your introduction includes your viewpoint, but it could be clearer and more concise. Ensure you state your stance explicitly at the beginning and provide a brief outline of the main points you'll cover.
coherence cohesion
You should strengthen your conclusion by summarizing the key points discussed in your essay, restating your opinion more powerfully. This will leave a stronger impression on the reader.
coherence cohesion
Try to group your similar ideas together more effectively. It will make your main points easier to follow and improve the logical flow of your essay.
task achievement
Although your examples are relevant, ensure each one thoroughly supports your point. There should be a direct link between your point and the example provided.
task achievement
Work on reducing grammatical errors, particularly in sentence structure and spelling. For instance, 'illness, prefering using' should be 'illnesses, preferring to use'. Checking your work for these minor errors would increase clarity and professionalism.
coherence cohesion
Focus on using cohesive devices (e.g., 'furthermore', 'in addition') correctly to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Using more synonyms and varied sentence structures will prevent repetition and keep the reader engaged. For instance, you can replace 'emphasis on the natuarl functions' with 'focus on natural remedies'.
task achievement
You provided a clear stance on the issue, and your examples were relevant to the points made.
task achievement
The essay included both positive and negative aspects of using alternative medicines and treatments, showing a balanced approach.
coherence cohesion
Each body paragraph had a clear main idea, illustrated by examples or explanations, which is good practice.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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