Fresh water has become a global problem for the world. What are the causes of it? What measures government and individual should take to resolve to the problem? Give reasons and e.g for your answer.
Fresh
water
has become a global problem
for the world. What are the causes of it? What measures government and individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
should
take to resolve Verb problem
apply
to
the Change preposition
apply
problem
? Give reasons and e.g
for your answer.The world has significant issues with Correct your spelling
e.g.
water
. This
is due to
the pollution which caused a shortage of water
supply, to solve this
problem
the ministry should encourage people to stop throwing their garbage into the water
resources such
as rivers, ocean
and Fix the agreement mistake
oceans
lake
.
The concern of the planet is a lack of Fix the agreement mistake
lakes
water
now,
because people pollute the Remove the comma
apply
water
with their rubbish such
as plastic, carton and especially with polythene bags. Hence
, these things contain various chemicals, that can damage valuable minerals in the water
. This
means trash by stucking there for a while
they remove all vulnerable vitamins which might have enhanced person'shealth
. Correct your spelling
health
Furthermore
, water
can not be fixed or returned to its environment.For example
, according to
the New York Times, the most polluted ocean is the Pacific with 2 trillion plastic pieces.
To tackle this
problem
the government should motivate the population to end up polluting the water
, by constructing special machines located near the beaches which can recycle plastic stuff and give an award to person
who brought that them. Add an article
the person
a person
Therefore
, by receiving money, they will be motivated to bring rubbish again. With this
solution, they will stop throwing their trash into the water
. For instance
, in Norway, volunteers invented specialized recycling machines which give 2$ to 5 cans. Through this
, they improved the condition of their beaches.
In conclusion, the main reason for the shortage of drinking water
is pollution. To solve this
problem
, the government should encourage their citizens to stop throwing rubbish into the sea.Submitted by aizered097 on
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task response
To improve task response, you should provide more depth in your analysis and explanations. Delve deeper into the various causes of freshwater problems and discuss more measures that both the government and individuals can take.
coherence
For better coherence, ensure that all paragraphs logically flow from one to the next. The second paragraph could have clearer transitions linking the causes to the measures suggested in the third paragraph.
cohesion
To enhance cohesion, make sure to use a variety of linking words and phrases to show how your points are connected. This will help your essay flow more smoothly and make your arguments easier to follow.
structure
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in framing your arguments well.
task response
You provided a relevant example from Norway, which supports your point about government measures. This helps in giving more weight to your argument.
task response
The essay addresses the prompt directly and responds to the questions asked, showing a good understanding of the task.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?