Fresh water has become a global problem for the world. What are the causes of it? What measures government and individual should take to resolve to the problem? Give reasons and e.g for your answer.

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Fresh
water
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has become a global
problem
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for the world. What are the causes of it? What measures government and
individual
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individuals
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should
Verb problem
apply
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take to resolve
to
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apply
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the
problem
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? Give reasons and
e.g
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e.g.
for your answer.The world has significant issues with
water
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.
This
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is
due to
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the pollution which caused a shortage of
water
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supply, to solve
this
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problem
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the ministry should encourage people to stop throwing their garbage into the
water
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resources
such
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as rivers,
ocean
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oceans
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and
lake
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lakes
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. The concern of the planet is a lack of
water
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now
,
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apply
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because people pollute the
water
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with their rubbish
such
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as plastic, carton and especially with polythene bags.
Hence
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, these things contain various chemicals, that can damage valuable minerals in the
water
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.
This
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means trash by stucking there for a
while
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they remove all vulnerable vitamins which might have enhanced
person'shealth
Correct your spelling
health
.
Furthermore
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,
water
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can not be fixed or returned to its environment.
For example
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,
according to
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the New York Times, the most polluted ocean is the Pacific with 2 trillion plastic pieces. To tackle
this
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problem
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the government should motivate the population to end up polluting the
water
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, by constructing special machines located near the beaches which can recycle plastic stuff and give an award to
person
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the person
a person
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who brought that them.
Therefore
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, by receiving money, they will be motivated to bring rubbish again. With
this
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solution, they will stop throwing their trash into the
water
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.
For instance
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, in Norway, volunteers invented specialized recycling machines which give 2$ to 5 cans. Through
this
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, they improved the condition of their beaches. In conclusion, the main reason for the shortage of drinking
water
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is pollution. To solve
this
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problem
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, the government should encourage their citizens to stop throwing rubbish into the sea.
Submitted by aizered097 on

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task response
To improve task response, you should provide more depth in your analysis and explanations. Delve deeper into the various causes of freshwater problems and discuss more measures that both the government and individuals can take.
coherence
For better coherence, ensure that all paragraphs logically flow from one to the next. The second paragraph could have clearer transitions linking the causes to the measures suggested in the third paragraph.
cohesion
To enhance cohesion, make sure to use a variety of linking words and phrases to show how your points are connected. This will help your essay flow more smoothly and make your arguments easier to follow.
structure
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in framing your arguments well.
task response
You provided a relevant example from Norway, which supports your point about government measures. This helps in giving more weight to your argument.
task response
The essay addresses the prompt directly and responds to the questions asked, showing a good understanding of the task.

Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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