In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

Online magazines or
books
will replace
paper
ones
in the years to come which
provides
Correct subject-verb agreement
provide
show examples
people
free
accessibility
Replace the word
access
show examples
to whatever they want to read. I completely agree with
this
attitude. I agree with
this
statement
due to
Change preposition
for
show examples
numerous reasons. First and foremost is about
rapid
Correct article usage
the rapid
show examples
progression of technology. Owing to
this
improvement,
high tech
Add a hyphen
high-tech
show examples
tools
such
as mobile phones, laptops, or
ipads
Correct your spelling
iPads
show examples
facilitate the accessibility of
people
to the latest news just at the click of a button without paying any money.
Therefore
, these significant benefits persuade
people
to follow the news or read
books
through
on-line
Correct your spelling
online
show examples
platforms.
Moreover
, thanks to the higher level of education which
people
acquire nowadays compared to the past, they become more aware
about
Change the preposition
of
show examples
the deteriorating effects of human activities on the environment
such
as cutting trees to make
papers
Fix the agreement mistake
paper
show examples
from the woods. These higher educated
people
therefore
tried to avoid or at least reduce any activities that may harm nature,
as a
result
Add the comma(s)
result,
show examples
they prefer using online tools
instead
of
paper
ones
as an effective action in
this
matter. Generally speaking,
development
Correct article usage
the development
show examples
of technology and increasing
people
's awareness about their environments are two significant points that may explain why in the
future
no one will have a tendency to use
paper
books
or newspapers.
On the other hand
, some may claim that online
books
or magazines will never disappear completely. They believe that
paper
books
or newspapers always have their own proponents, especially among
elderly
Correct article usage
the elderly
show examples
.
However
, they do not consider
this
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
fact that the older generation in
future
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
young
ones
who would prefer online tools at present,
therefore
they definitely would prefer to have e-
books
or magazines in
future
even in more
high tech
Add a hyphen
high-tech
show examples
types. In conclusion, no one knows what the
future
holds,
however
, I believe that based on the bright sides of online ways to access information
such
as being free, quick, and environmentally friendly,
people
will completely turn to online platforms
instead
of
paper
ones
.
Moreover
, these significant positive effects will definitely make all
people
use online applications, even older
ones
.
Submitted by zshahhosein on

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task achievement
While the essay presents a complete response to the prompt, try to engage more deeply with potential opposing viewpoints and provide counterarguments for a more balanced discussion.
task achievement
The essay is generally clear and ideas are comprehensive, but more specific examples or data would strengthen the arguments further.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical structure by ensuring that each paragraph has a clear main idea, and that there is a smooth flow of ideas between them. Use more transitional phrases to achieve this.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-presented, clearly framing the discussion and summarizing the key points effectively.
coherence cohesion
The essay is clear and cohesive. The ideas are well-connected, and the progression of thoughts is logical.
task achievement
The essay responds fully to the prompt, covering both the reasons for the shift to online reading and evaluating the potential impact.
task achievement
The writer demonstrates the ability to articulate clear and comprehensive ideas and uses relevant arguments to support their viewpoint.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • ownership
  • renting
  • importance
  • sense of security
  • stability
  • financial investment
  • asset
  • customize
  • decorate
  • belonging
  • community
  • potential
  • future generations
  • long-term
  • cost advantage
  • control
  • living space
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