IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some employers believe that job applicants' social skills are more important than their academic qualifications. Do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#employers #job #applicants #skills #qualifications
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It is often argued that companies
are prefer
Change the verb form
prefer
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 candidates with strong soft
skills
 compared to their achievements
of
Change preposition
with
show examples
high level
Add a hyphen
high-level
show examples
 degrees. In my perspective, I partially agree with
this
 notion and will elaborate on it in the following paragraphs.
Firstly
, people who have been cultivating social
skills
 and obtaining them at the right level have a tendency to work more
flexibility
Replace the word
flexibly
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 and
productive
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be productive
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;
moreover
, those
skills
also
 help them strengthen their
relationship
Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
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among
Change preposition
with
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 their workmates, which
give
Correct subject-verb agreement
gives
show examples
 them many opportunities
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
 job promotions.
For instance
, the capabilities of using
such
 as time management, listening
skills
, and problem-solving
while
 working will help employees to finish their tasks more rapidly and precisely, eventually, they can handle more tasks than the others and enhance the company's growth effectively
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
overall
.
Therefore
, it is undeniable that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
soft
skills
are playing
Wrong verb form
play
show examples
 an important aspect for employers, who are seeking
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
candidates.
However
, advancing only soft
skills
 without academic qualifications is not enough for people who want to earn more from their career paths.
According to
 some research, acquiring at least one
bachelor
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bachelor's
show examples
 degree will increase the salary up to approximately
fourty
Correct your spelling
forty
four
percent
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per cent
show examples
 at the beginning of the career.
Furthermore
, having qualifications in studying provides candidates
a
Add the preposition
with a
show examples
fundamental knowledge of the working industry they will participate in, which helps them understand not only the basics but
also
 the advances in their jobs, so they can transform their knowledge to solve all the problems. Big firms usually require a certification in advance when they want to recruit
a
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for a
show examples
position, which is
an evidence
Remove the article
evidence
a piece of evidence
a shred of evidence
show examples
 we should focus on getting an academic degree. The essay outlines both views of the aforementioned approach. In my opinion, I suggest
to manage
Change the verb form
managing
show examples
 the balance between obtaining social
skills
 and
getting
Verb problem
achieving
show examples
 academic achievement
simultaneosly
Correct your spelling
simultaneously
 in order to deliver more productive tasks and improve them well with the full-time training at
universtities
Correct your spelling
universities
.
Submitted by beautytear13 on

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task achievement
Consider providing more specific examples or evidence to support your points. This will make your arguments stronger and more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. Proofreading can help identify these issues and enhance the readability of your essay.
coherence cohesion
The introduction is clear and sets up the essay's structure well.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and provides a balanced view on the topic.
task achievement
The essay demonstrates a good balance between discussing social skills and academic qualifications, providing a well-rounded perspective.
task achievement
You have effectively highlighted the importance of both soft skills and academic qualifications, showing a nuanced understanding of the topic.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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