The table below shows the results of survey in a European country, which were carried in three different years. It shows the percentage of people who said that they were interested in certain sports. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisions where relevant.

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The graph illustrates the percentage of 7 primary sports chosen by individuals in a European country in 1999, 2004 and 2009.

Overall

Linking Words

, football was the most popular

activities

Fix the agreement mistake

activity

show examples

among the three years,

while

Linking Words

golf

Use synonyms

and

rugby

Use synonyms

were less welcomed.

Additionally

Linking Words

, cycling, volleyball,

golf

Use synonyms

and

rugby

Use synonyms

saw an upward trend over that period but other types of sports except swimming had the opposite tendency. As is shown in the table, the percentage of people who consider football as

the

Correct article usage

show examples

interesing

Correct your spelling

interesting

activities in 1999 was 57%,

while

Linking Words

after experiencing a steady decrease, that figure for 2009 was 48%.

Similarly

Linking Words

, there were fewer

indiviudals

Correct your spelling

individuals

immersed in tennis, with 26% at the beginning but fell to 24% in 2009.

Coversely

Correct your spelling

Conversely

, the proportion of cycling, volleyball,

golf

Use synonyms

and

rugby

Use synonyms

all increased over the 10 years. As for cycling, it rose from 32% to 34%

while

Linking Words

those figures for volleyball were 12% and 24% respectively.

Apar

Correct your spelling

Apart

show examples

from that,

although

Linking Words

the percentage of people interested in

golf

Use synonyms

and

rugby

Use synonyms

increased, they were still under 20% in 2009.

Additionally

Linking Words

, swimming

was

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

flucuated

Correct your spelling

fluctuated

over that period of time,

rose

Wrong verb form

rising

show examples

from 17% in 1999 to 20% in 2004, but declined to 18% in 2009 ultimately.

Submitted by 1356388645 on Thu Jun 06 2024

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "additionally, while".

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words golf, rugby with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.

▼

5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

195 words

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