IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

in many countries, more and more people choose to buy imported food rather than food produced locally. why people buy imported food? what could be done to encourage people to buy local food?

#countries #people #food
It is believed that, in some
nations
Add a comma
nations,
show examples
 their citizens would prefer to purchase imported
food
 than local
food
.
This
 writer thinks that the main reason for
this
 issue is the condition of the
products
,
however
, the consumption of the nation's
products
 can rise if the local farmer improves the quality. It can be understood that the condition element plays a crucial role in the consumption of the customers.
This
 is because of the high demand from society
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 when people are earning more money and requiring more well-quality
products
, especially
food
 and type of fruits.
Moreover
, in some countries, the local
grower
Fix the agreement mistake
growers
show examples
 are not capable enough of the requirements of the local customers.
Therefore
, a large number of residents would like to buy imported
food
due to
 they
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
more
Correct word choice
of higher
show examples
 quality and
had
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
 an inspection from the authority. Yet,
this
 problem can be tackled if there's a revolution
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 improving the quality of the local
products
. It might be possible if the producer
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 an eco-friendly cultivation, and
enrich
Correct subject-verb agreement
enriches
show examples
 the nutrition for the plants
instead
 of using pesticides and poisoning chemical fertilizers. If the farmers can change their way of growing plants without plant stimulants, the
products
 can be expanded to the local customers and reduce the consumption of imported
food
. In conclusion, people use imported goods as they believe it is better and have a censorship process by the
authority
Fix the agreement mistake
authorities
show examples
, notwithstanding,
this
 problem can be resolved if the farmers are responsible for their actions.

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task achievement
Your essay provides a complete response to the task, identifying reasons why people choose imported food and suggesting solutions to encourage buying local food. However, making sure each point is comprehensively covered with clear, in-depth examples will improve your score.
coherence cohesion
To enhance coherence, make sure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and flows logically from one idea to the next. Connecting phrases can help to improve transitions between sentences and paragraphs.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction clearly states the main issue and provides a preview of your main points.
introduction conclusion present
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the key points discussed and reiterates the solution.
logical structure
You have a logical structure, with your essay divided into paragraphs that each discuss a separate point.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • allure
  • novelty
  • diversity
  • perception
  • premium
  • globalization
  • cuisines
  • economic factors
  • subsidies
  • tariffs
  • competitive
  • farm-to-table
  • eco-conscious
  • consumption
  • sustainability
  • local economy
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