Many peducation?To what extend do you agree or disagree?eople say that the only way to guarantee a good job is to complete a course of university

#peducation #eople #guarantee #job #course #university

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It is widely believed that having a degree is

Correct article usage

the

show examples

sole way for

employees

Use synonyms

to get lucrative jobs . The writer of

this

Linking Words

essay agrees with

this

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notion because it can demonstrate

specialized

Correct article usage

the specialized

show examples

skills and persistence of candidates. To commence with , professional abilities are crucial when employers looking for new workers .

In other words

Linking Words

, the

employees

Use synonyms

espeacially

Correct your spelling

especially

white-collar ones , with adequate education backgrounds

also

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have intensive knowledge in their fields .

As a result

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, these potential workers will operate various important strategies that can lead their companies to success.

For example

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, in 2018 ,

Vietnam

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in Vietnam

show examples

, where 72% of firms just only recruited candidates who

have

Wrong verb form

had

show examples

good degrees,

this

Linking Words

practice

also

Linking Words

increased

Correct article usage

the 25

show examples

% of

Add an article

the successful

show examples

successful

Replace the word

success

show examples

rate of these companies.

Moreover

Linking Words

, educational qualifications

also

Linking Words

display whether or not

employees

Use synonyms

are hard-working . To be more specific , candidates need to encounter

with

Change preposition

apply

show examples

many challenges and difficulties if individuals long to acquire degrees

Change preposition

show examples

their fields .

Consequently

Linking Words

, these

employees

Use synonyms

are able to solve their assignments in

works

Fix the agreement mistake

work

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

effective and swift ways .

For instance

Linking Words

, the highly successful company , Apple , accepted 200.000 officers who used to graduate from Havard University , which forced students to study more than 8 hours per day. In conclusion ,

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

degrees are crucial foundations for

employees

Use synonyms

to seek adequate jobs

due to

Linking Words

proving professional abilities

as well as

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perseverance.

Hence

Linking Words

, the single way to have

well

Correct word choice

good

show examples

jobs is by finishing university courses.

Submitted by Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhà on Thu Jun 06 2024

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task achievement

Your essay addresses the task well by presenting a clear position on the necessity of a university degree for securing a good job. However, try to balance your argument by also acknowledging the potential counterarguments. This will provide a more comprehensive response to the task.

coherence cohesion

Your points are generally clear, but there are some grammatical errors and awkward phrases that can disrupt the flow of your ideas. Try to proofread your work or ask someone else to check it for grammar and clarity.

task achievement

Inclusion of some statistics and examples enriches your argument, but ensure they are relevant and clearly explained. Some details, like the statistic about Apple, could be presented more clearly to strengthen their relevance.

coherence cohesion

Consider refining the conclusion to restate the main points more succinctly. The current conclusion is good but could be a bit more concise and impactful.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which enhances readability.

task achievement

You provide relevant examples and statistics to support your main points, which adds credibility to your argument.

coherence cohesion

Your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and restates your position, which helps to reinforce your argument.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

249 words

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Many peducation?To what extend do you agree or disagree?eople say that the only way to guarantee a good job is to complete a course of university

Your opinion

people living in the 21st century generally have a better quality of life than people who lived in previous centuries to what extent do you agree or disagree

Robots and artificial intelligence are being developed to replace human in workplace. Why is this happening? Do you think this will have positive or negative impact on society?

Some suggest that young people should take a job for a few years between school and university. Discuss what the advantages and disadvantages might be for people who do this.

Some people say that now is the best time in history to be living. What is your opinion about this? What other time in history would be interesting to live in?

Some countries have introduced laws to limit the working hours that an employer can ask from an employee. Why are these law introduced? Is this a positive or negative trend?