Many peducation?To what extend do you agree or disagree?eople say that the only way to guarantee a good job is to complete a course of university
It is widely believed that having a degree is
a
sole way for Correct article usage
the
employees
to get lucrative jobs . The writer of this
essay agrees with this
notion because it can demonstrate specialized
skills and persistence of candidates.
To commence with , professional abilities are crucial when employers looking for new workers . Correct article usage
the specialized
In other words
, the employees
, espeacially
white-collar ones , with adequate education backgrounds Correct your spelling
especially
also
have intensive knowledge in their fields . As a result
, these potential workers will operate various important strategies that can lead their companies to success.For example
, in 2018 , Vietnam
, where 72% of firms just only recruited candidates who Change preposition
in Vietnam
have
good degrees, Wrong verb form
had
this
practice also
increased 25
% of Correct article usage
the 25
Add an article
the successful
successful
rate of these companies.
Replace the word
success
Moreover
, educational qualifications also
display whether or not employees
are hard-working . To be more specific , candidates need to encounter with
many challenges and difficulties if individuals long to acquire degrees Change preposition
apply
on
their fields . Change preposition
in
Consequently
, these employees
are able to solve their assignments in works
in Fix the agreement mistake
work
the
effective and swift ways . Correct article usage
apply
For instance
, the highly successful company , Apple , accepted 200.000 officers who used to graduate from Havard University , which forced students to study more than 8 hours per day.
In conclusion , the
degrees are crucial foundations for Correct article usage
apply
employees
to seek adequate jobs due to
proving professional abilities as well as
perseverance. Hence
, the single way to have well
jobs is by finishing university courses.Correct word choice
good
Submitted by Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhà on
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task achievement
Your essay addresses the task well by presenting a clear position on the necessity of a university degree for securing a good job. However, try to balance your argument by also acknowledging the potential counterarguments. This will provide a more comprehensive response to the task.
coherence cohesion
Your points are generally clear, but there are some grammatical errors and awkward phrases that can disrupt the flow of your ideas. Try to proofread your work or ask someone else to check it for grammar and clarity.
task achievement
Inclusion of some statistics and examples enriches your argument, but ensure they are relevant and clearly explained. Some details, like the statistic about Apple, could be presented more clearly to strengthen their relevance.
coherence cohesion
Consider refining the conclusion to restate the main points more succinctly. The current conclusion is good but could be a bit more concise and impactful.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which enhances readability.
task achievement
You provide relevant examples and statistics to support your main points, which adds credibility to your argument.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and restates your position, which helps to reinforce your argument.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?