IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

With a growing world population, many people believe that we should focus on producing more GM foods. What are the advantages and disadvantages of doing this?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
These days, Genetically Modified food becoming more familiar to the folk,
along with
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 phenomenon are arguments that non-organic
foods
Use synonyms
 should be focused more on production. The writer of
this
Linking Words
 essay will discuss some advantages and disadvantages of generating more mutant
foods
Use synonyms
.
To begin
Linking Words
, consuming GM
foods
Use synonyms
 brings several medical benefits. Indeed, through the "pharming" process in growing
crops
Use synonyms
, which helps them produce protein, vaccines, etcetera more efficiently.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 method is certainly cheaper than other ways to improve personal health. Imagine eating a dinner that includes a tetanus booster
instead
Linking Words
 of gaining a shot in the arm, which is way more convenient.
Hence
Linking Words
, it is the basis for medical improvement.
Conversely
Linking Words
, even though it has many benefits we can find drawbacks in
this
Linking Words
 phenomenon
also
Linking Words
. GMO
crops
Use synonyms
 may cause
antibiotic
Use synonyms
 resistance. Iowa State University research shows that its
crops
Use synonyms
 include antibiotics and other items to kill germs and pests, which reduces the effectiveness of an
antibiotic
Use synonyms
 or other medication when it is needed in the traditional sense.
This
Linking Words
 can cause illness to become harder to cure because the
foods
Use synonyms
 contain trace amounts of the
antibiotic
Use synonyms
 when consumed, any organisms that would be affected by a prescription
antibiotic
Use synonyms
 have built an immunity to it. In conclusion, producing more biotech
foods
Use synonyms
as well as
Linking Words
 more consumption has many benefits
such
Linking Words
 as medical use, yet
also
Linking Words
include
Correct subject-verb agreement
includes
show examples
 drawbacks like harder to cure some illnesses.
Also
Linking Words
,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 should improve
Use synonyms
crops
Change the noun form
crop
show examples
 quality
instead
Linking Words
 of having an increase in
producing
Replace the word
the production of
show examples
 GM
foods
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

clarity
Improve the clarity and precision of your ideas to make your points more compelling. This can be achieved by rephrasing some sentences for better understanding.
task response
Provide a more balanced and nuanced argument discussing both the benefits and drawbacks of GM foods. Currently, the advantages are less detailed compared to the disadvantages.
coherence
Use more transition words and phrases to create a smoother flow between your ideas. This can help to improve the overall coherence of the essay.
structure
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which provides a good framework for your arguments.
examples
You have included specific examples, like the Iowa State University research, which helps to reinforce your points.
logical structure
Your essay is logically structured, and you have made an effort to discuss both the advantages and disadvantages.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: