The major cities of the world are growing fast, as well as their problems. What are the problems that young people living in cities face with? Give some solutions to these problems.

#cities #world #people #face

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

this

Linking Words

contemporary era, most metropolitan areas are likely to develop dramatically

along with

Linking Words

ongoing relevant issues in

globe

Correct article usage

the globe

show examples

This

Linking Words

essay firmly contends that

this

Linking Words

circumstance has resulted in the shortage of outdoor activities related to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

nature

as well as

Linking Words

adverse

implication

Fix the agreement mistake

implications

show examples

physical

Add an article

the physical

show examples

health

Use synonyms

of youngsters, which could be alleviated by creating a green belt surrounding the

cities

Use synonyms

by governments. Thanks to the fast growth of urban areas, natural discoveries seem to be overshadowed by modern construction.

In other words

Linking Words

, there would be a vast wooded land

that is

Linking Words

flattened so as to establish up-to-date infrastructure which enhances the economy of the

cities

Use synonyms

Consequently

Linking Words

,because of being in curious periods, adolescents would not have opportunities to explore the natural habitat, which is one the most integral

part

Fix the agreement mistake

parts

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

childhood.

For instance

Linking Words

Change preposition

in Ho

show examples

Chi Minh

city

Capitalize word

City

show examples

where over 70% of the children often stay at home and do indoor activities

such

Linking Words

as watching films or playing games rather than hanging out to discover

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

nature on the grounds of the expansion of facilities. Another issue worth mentioning is

negative

Add an article

a negative

the negative

show examples

impact on physical

health

Use synonyms

stemming from high-tech devices. To explain

further

Linking Words

, it is evident that the more advanced metropolises are, the more modern gadgets become that directly affect the

health

Use synonyms

of the young generation, as those who do not have adequate awareness about technology, resulting in addiction.

As a result

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

could not only worsen the strength of individuals but

also

Linking Words

lead to a sedentary lifestyle causing many problems in later

time

Fix the agreement mistake

times

show examples

Taking

Wrong verb form

Take

show examples

Hanoi as a standout example, where the research shows that there are 30% of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

children

suffering

Wrong verb form

will suffer

show examples

from obesity and short-sighted eyes in 2023, 5% higher than

2021

Change preposition

in 2021

show examples

. Notwithstanding,

this

Linking Words

could be mitigated by implementing a green belt outside

cities

Use synonyms

That is

Linking Words

to say, the authorities should restrict the urban zones by

establishinga

Correct your spelling

establishing a

establishing

vegetation space around them, which is

positive

Add an article

a positive

show examples

change.

Consequently

Linking Words

, young individuals could get more chances to explore the natural environment for

entertaining

Replace the word

entertainment

show examples

along with

Linking Words

reducing

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

screen time which improves

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

physical

health

Use synonyms

positively. In conclusion, the development of

cities

Use synonyms

could lead to not only the missing childhood because of the shortage of

greenland

Change the capitalization

Greenland

show examples

but

also

Linking Words

the sedentary lifestyle.

However

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

could be addressed by creating

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

wooded land in the suburbs.

Submitted by Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhà on Thu Jun 06 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

Your essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, which is excellent for structure. However, ensure that each main point is explicitly linked back to the overarching argument. This will improve overall coherence and cohesion.

task achievement

While your ideas are generally clear and relevant, some points could benefit from deeper development. For example, explain more thoroughly why specific solutions will work. This will enhance the completeness and comprehensiveness of your response.

coherence cohesion

Your introduction and conclusion are well-defined and give a clear overview and summary of the essay's main points.

task achievement

You provide relevant and specific examples, such as the ones about Ho Chi Minh City and Hanoi, which help illustrate your points.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
22
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

377 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6
band
In many countries today, crime novels and tv crime dramas are becoming more and more popular. Why do you think these books and TV shows are popular? what is your opinion of crime fiction and tv crime dramas?
It is generally known that an increasing number of individuals are opting to read crime novels and watch TV crime dramas because they find those topics very interesting and it is a good way to spend their free time. In my opinion, consuming these types of entertainment bring more good than harm, and it is an effective way to learn another language and to be entertained.
6
band
many people today use their phones for sending texts more than talking.what are the reasons for this?are there more advantages than disadvantages?
The shift towards using phones predominantly for texting rather than talking is a phenomenon that has become increasingly prevalent in contemporary society. Several factors contribute to this trend, and while there are advantages to text-based communication, there are also notable disadvantages.
7
band
Some people think that exercise is key to health, while others feel that having a balanced diet is more important Discuss both view and give your opinion.
In the modern era, because of the increasing demand for a high quality of life, more and more individuals care about their health. While many believe that staying physically active is the best way to keep them healthy, I personally feel that it is more crucial for citizens to have a balanced eating habit.
6.5
band
In some countries, young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.
In today's society, it is common for young people to take a gap year to work or travel before starting university. This essay will discuss both the advantages and disadvantages of this practice.
6.5
band
Computers are becoming an essential part of education. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of using computer technology in education and give your opinion.
In the initial age, our lives are more convenient than it is in the past because of the appearance of huge electric inventions. Of these devices, I think the computer is the greatest invention since it has numerous advantages.

The major cities of the world are growing fast, as well as their problems. What are the problems that young people living in cities face with? Give some solutions to these problems.

In many countries today, crime novels and tv crime dramas are becoming more and more popular. Why do you think these books and TV shows are popular? what is your opinion of crime fiction and tv crime dramas?

many people today use their phones for sending texts more than talking.what are the reasons for this?are there more advantages than disadvantages?

Some people think that exercise is key to health, while others feel that having a balanced diet is more important Discuss both view and give your opinion.

In some countries, young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.

Computers are becoming an essential part of education. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of using computer technology in education and give your opinion.