The major cities of the world are growing fast, as well as their problems. What are the problems that young people living in cities face with? Give some solutions to these problems.

#cities #world #people #face

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this

contemporary era, most metropolitan areas are likely to develop dramatically

along with

ongoing relevant issues in

globe

Correct article usage

the globe

show examples

This

essay firmly contends that

this

circumstance has resulted in the shortage of outdoor activities related to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

nature

as well as

adverse

implication

Fix the agreement mistake

implications

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physical

Add an article

the physical

show examples

health

of youngsters, which could be alleviated by creating a green belt surrounding the

cities

by governments. Thanks to the fast growth of urban areas, natural discoveries seem to be overshadowed by modern construction.

In other words

, there would be a vast wooded land

that is

flattened so as to establish up-to-date infrastructure which enhances the economy of the

cities

Consequently

,because of being in curious periods, adolescents would not have opportunities to explore the natural habitat, which is one the most integral

part

Fix the agreement mistake

parts

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

childhood.

For instance

Change preposition

in Ho

show examples

Chi Minh

city

Capitalize word

City

show examples

where over 70% of the children often stay at home and do indoor activities

such

as watching films or playing games rather than hanging out to discover

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

nature on the grounds of the expansion of facilities. Another issue worth mentioning is

negative

Add an article

a negative

the negative

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impact on physical

health

stemming from high-tech devices. To explain

further

, it is evident that the more advanced metropolises are, the more modern gadgets become that directly affect the

health

of the young generation, as those who do not have adequate awareness about technology, resulting in addiction.

As a result

this

could not only worsen the strength of individuals but

also

lead to a sedentary lifestyle causing many problems in later

time

Fix the agreement mistake

times

show examples

Taking

Wrong verb form

Take

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Hanoi as a standout example, where the research shows that there are 30% of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

children

suffering

Wrong verb form

will suffer

show examples

from obesity and short-sighted eyes in 2023, 5% higher than

2021

Change preposition

in 2021

show examples

. Notwithstanding,

this

could be mitigated by implementing a green belt outside

cities

That is

to say, the authorities should restrict the urban zones by

establishinga

Correct your spelling

establishing a

establishing

vegetation space around them, which is

positive

Add an article

a positive

show examples

change.

Consequently

, young individuals could get more chances to explore the natural environment for

entertaining

Replace the word

entertainment

show examples

along with

reducing

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

screen time which improves

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

physical

health

positively. In conclusion, the development of

cities

could lead to not only the missing childhood because of the shortage of

greenland

Change the capitalization

Greenland

show examples

but

also

the sedentary lifestyle.

However

this

could be addressed by creating

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

wooded land in the suburbs.

Submitted by Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhà on Thu Jun 06 2024

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coherence cohesion

Your essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, which is excellent for structure. However, ensure that each main point is explicitly linked back to the overarching argument. This will improve overall coherence and cohesion.

task achievement

While your ideas are generally clear and relevant, some points could benefit from deeper development. For example, explain more thoroughly why specific solutions will work. This will enhance the completeness and comprehensiveness of your response.

coherence cohesion

Your introduction and conclusion are well-defined and give a clear overview and summary of the essay's main points.

task achievement

You provide relevant and specific examples, such as the ones about Ho Chi Minh City and Hanoi, which help illustrate your points.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
22
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

377 words

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The major cities of the world are growing fast, as well as their problems. What are the problems that young people living in cities face with? Give some solutions to these problems.

Your next door neighbor owns a small dog that barks throughout the day and the night. Write a letter to your neighbor requesting that something be done about the dog. Include in your letter: oYour reason for writing oWhat you would like to happen oA nice, respectful style.

in some countries the number of shootings increase because many people have guns at home. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Education of young people is highly prioritized in many countries. However, educating adults who cannot write or read is even more important and governments should spend more money on this. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

some people work for the same organisation all their working life. others think that it is better to work for different organisation. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

People face a lot of difficulty in giving a speech or presentation in public. If the children are being taught in schools, about how to give speech in public, would it be better. How important is it to learn how to speak in public? Do you agree or disagree with the statement? Give relevant examples