The tendency of news reports in the media to focus more on problems and emergencies rather than on positive developments is harmful to the individuals and the society as a whole. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It's often argued whether news
channels
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channels'
channel's
show examples
production of violence rather than advancements and growth can negatively damage both the public and
individuals
. I completely agree that producing more negative content benefits
individuals
, communities, and news agencies.
To begin
with, I feel that it's essential to reveal dissents through the media. By doing
this
, evoking residents in the country is unpreventable. When unrest emerges
as a result
of that, the authority is easily
pursuaded
Correct your spelling
persuaded
to get hold of solutions to the cause of the issue.
For example
, the media should report when the costs of stable food
rises
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rise
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in order
that
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for
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the government aware of the scale of its impacts.
In addition
to that, sometimes the state isn't aware of the hassle is inexistence unless reporters release information about it.
Moreover
, unwanted reports on
the
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apply
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television or newspapers
are
Verb problem
do
show examples
not
dealt
Wrong verb form
deal
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often times personal
matter
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matters
show examples
,
as a result
, they don’t often incite negative
response
Fix the agreement mistake
responses
show examples
.
For example
, in my country,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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television
are
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is
show examples
often streamed
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
current events related
terrorism
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to terrorism
show examples
or vile crimes more than developments taking place region in the country. These narratives are concerned
to
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with
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the public; they aren’t intended to make the
individuals
feel sad about it. In summary, bad news can help the public and
individuals
positively. The outcry of the community helps those in charge
swiflty
Correct your spelling
swiftly
look for solutions. Releasing data
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
statistics and so on related to hassles collectively
motivate
Correct subject-verb agreement
motivates
show examples
finding solutions.
Submitted by mohammednou2t on

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task achievement
Clarify your stance in the introduction. While you state that you completely agree, the following statement about benefits is confusing. Ensure that your position is clear from the beginning.
coherence cohesion
Organize your essay clearly with topic sentences that directly reflect the point you want to make. This will help guide the reader and improve logical structure.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples and elaborate on them to strengthen your arguments. For example, mentioning specific events where media coverage led to governmental action would be helpful.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that you thoroughly explain how each point you make supports your overall argument. For instance, clarify why reporting negative news can lead to positive change and how this benefits society and individuals.
task achievement
Your essay touches upon several relevant points, such as government responsiveness and the role of the media in public awareness.
coherence cohesion
You successfully included an introduction and a conclusion, providing a frame for your essay.
task achievement
Your writing shows a fair understanding of the essay topic and includes an effort to present clear ideas.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • news reports
  • media focus
  • negative news
  • positive developments
  • stress and anxiety
  • skewed perception of reality
  • world view
  • desensitization
  • pessimistic outlook
  • general public
  • mental well-being
  • proactive problem-solving
  • holistic view
  • informed decision-making
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