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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The diagrams show the structure of the solar panel and its use. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagrams show the structure of the solar panel and its use. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#diagrams #show #structure #panel #information #features #comparisons
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Contained in the diagrams is information pertaining to the structure and usage of a solar panel.
Overall
Linking Words
, the whole system is a box including an inlet, outlet and a transparent top made of glasses.
Additionally
Linking Words
, the solar panel is generally empty inside,
however
Linking Words
, it can be adjusted to
use
Wrong verb form
be used
show examples
 for different purposes involving heating
air
Use synonyms
 and
water
Use synonyms
. Beginning with the process of heating
air
Use synonyms
, it can be seen the
sun
Change noun form
sun's
show examples
 rays contribute heat energy to fuel the system. The progress commences when cool
air
Use synonyms
 goes through the inlet to get inside the box. After that, because the temperature in the system has been accumulated to a relatively high degree by sun rays, the cool
air
Use synonyms
 when it gets inside will be heated, resulting in warm
air
Use synonyms
 out from the outlet. Turning to the process of heating
water
Use synonyms
, a
water
Use synonyms
 pipe is necessarily added to the box.
Similarly
Linking Words
 to the heating
air
Use synonyms
progress
Correct your spelling
process
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, the cool
water
Use synonyms
 in
this
Linking Words
 procedure goes through the inlet, and
then
Linking Words
 the
water
Use synonyms
 pipe which is heated by sun rays. The whole process terminates when warm
water
Use synonyms
 gets out from the outlet.
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 80%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words air, water with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 2 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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