Some people think that countries should produce food their population eats and import less food as much as possible. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Many people believe that regions should manufacture
food
for their own dwellers and reduce the amount of food
which is imported. While
this
can be beneficial to some extent/ bring many advantages, I disagree with this
point of view.
To begin
with, there are two reasons why countries
should self- produce
Correct your spelling
self-produce
food
and reduce food
imports. With regard to the former, there will be more jobs in agricultural
Correct article usage
the agricultural
sectors
. Fix the agreement mistake
sector
This
policy would be a boon to domestic production; which will curb the unemployment rate. This
can be seen in rural areas in Vietnam, where a focus on agricultural production has helped year-round domestic manufacture
and eventually created thousands of jobs for people, preventing jobless periods. Regarding minimizing Replace the word
manufacturing
food
imports, such
a policy will boost a country’s economy by eliminating the commercial competition among
local companies with foreign corporations.
Despite the aforementioned benefits,
I believe that producing Change preposition
between
food
domestically seems unfeasible. To specify this
, a number of countries
which suffer extreme weather or possess unfavorable
geographical features will find it challenging to be self-reliant on Change the spelling
unfavourable
food
production.For example
, like most African countries
in general, Comoros has arid land and scorching weather with limited amounts of rain all year round, which makes this
country unable to produce enough food
for its population. Another example is Japan, where many natural disasters happen, makingit
hard for Correct your spelling
making it
this
country to ensure national security.
In conclusion, although
manufacturing food
for their own population and getting food
from other countries
can bring colossal benefits ,
I am against with
Change preposition
apply
such
policies.Submitted by Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhà on
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task achievement
Ensure that every introduced point is fully developed and supported with examples or additional reasoning. For instance, you mentioned benefits such as 'more jobs in agricultural sectors' but didn't elaborate much on how this process works.
coherence cohesion
Work on refining the logical progression between points. Use more connector phrases and ensure clear transitions between paragraphs to enhance the flow.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to minor punctuation and grammatical errors to improve overall readability. Also, ensure that your argument aligns logically without contradicting your main stance.
coherence cohesion
Your essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion which effectively summarize the main points discussed.
task achievement
You effectively addressed both aspects of the question, detailing the potential benefits and drawbacks of the policy discussed.
task achievement
You provided relevant examples, such as the situation in Vietnam and Comoros, which help in illustrating your points.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.