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Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

An increasing number of people are now using dating sites to meet their better halves. Do you think that this tendency helps people to socialize or does more harm than good?

#people #sites #halves #tendency #harm
As technology
development advanced
Wrong verb form
develops
show examples
,
people
 meet new friends and their
partner
Fix the agreement mistake
partners
show examples
 on dating
softwares
Correct your spelling
software
 or
apps
. There
lots
Add a missing verb
are lots
show examples
upsides
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of upsides
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be
Fix the infinitive
to be
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 seen but
must
Correct pronoun usage
there must
show examples
have
Verb problem
be
show examples
 some danger behind the screen. In
this
 essay, I will discuss why
people
addicted
Add a missing verb
are addicted
show examples
 to those dating
apps
 and what danger is coming. Nowadays, individuals enjoy their socialization on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
dating
apps
, like
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Bumble and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Tinder, which
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 famous
between
Change preposition
among
show examples
youth
Correct your spelling
young
show examples
 and singles. Not like before
smart phone
Correct your spelling
smartphone
show examples
 showed up, you can talk to
people
 who
attracted
Add a missing verb
are attracted
show examples
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the app
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 any time, sharing your
informations
Change the wording
information
pieces of information
show examples
 and photos.
This
 greatest creation
let
Verb problem
makes
show examples
 the distance between
people
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
close
Replace the word
closer
show examples
, without limited time and area, individuals
chatting
Wrong verb form
can chat
show examples
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 any time
you
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 want.
However
,
this
 is just
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 beginning, since
individual
Correct article usage
an individual
show examples
 knows you can say what you want with guiltless, once
arguement
Correct your spelling
an argument
happened
Wrong verb form
happens
show examples
 in
conversation
Correct article usage
a conversation
show examples
, the only thing have to do is block the person you dislike
then
Correct word choice
and then
show examples
 talk to
next
Correct article usage
the next
show examples
 one
who
Change the pronoun
whom
show examples
 you like.
This
 phenomenon
make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
people
 feel guilty-less and regret-less,
therefore
,
conversation
Fix the agreement mistake
conversations
show examples
full
Add a missing verb
are full
show examples
 of flirting and sex,
the
Correct word choice
and the
show examples
 app
become
Change the verb form
becomes
show examples
 a tool to hook up
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
 to have sex.
However
, there is a bigger crime
binding
Replace the word
bound
show examples
 behind the screen, the scam,
for instance
, some
people
 focus on taking nice
photo
Fix the agreement mistake
photos
show examples
 to hook up those girls by showing off wealth and perfect character. Once a girl bites the bait, they will give
some
Correct pronoun usage
her some
show examples
sweet
Fix the agreement mistake
sweets
show examples
then
Correct word choice
and then
show examples
 ask for financial help. After
couple
Correct article usage
a couple
show examples
months
Change preposition
of months
show examples
 they will disappear with
girl's
Correct article usage
the girl's
show examples
 money. The crime group will keep going on next girl
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
next week.
That is
 the biggest danger in dating
apps
 and sites,
due to
 you never know how true they are.
To sum
up
Add a comma
up,
show examples
 dating sites and
apps
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 helpful to
people
 who
interested
Add a missing verb
are interested
show examples
to make
Change preposition
in making
show examples
some
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
new friends and
have
Wrong verb form
having
show examples
 a partner.
However
, if you
fell
Wrong verb form
fall
show examples
 into
trap
Correct article usage
a trap
show examples
 deeper and deeper, you
would
Wrong verb form
will
show examples
 not be back,
therefore
,
population
Add an article
the population
show examples
 should be careful and follow your institution. Once you smell something weird, step back and think twice before you make your decision will be good on you.
Submitted by d11206 on

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task achievement
Ensure to develop each paragraph with enough details to clearly support your main points.
coherence cohesion
Work on sentence structure to enhance the logical flow and improve readability.
coherence cohesion
Proofread for grammatical errors and awkward phrasing to ensure clarity.
task achievement
Provide more balanced discussion by highlighting benefits and drawbacks with examples.
coherence cohesion
Use more transition words and phrases to enhance the flow of ideas between paragraphs.
task achievement
The essay addresses the prompt by discussing both the socializing benefits and potential dangers of dating apps.
task achievement
Relevant examples, such as mentioning specific apps like Tinder and Bumble, are provided.
coherence cohesion
A clear introduction and conclusion are present, which helps to structure the essay.
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