These days people prefer to watch live performances (Shows, concerts) through tv or computer, online rather than go to the place of event. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #performances #concerts #tv #computer #place #event

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Some

people

argue that in today's

world

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world,

show examples

more and

mor epeople

Correct your spelling

more people

would rather

staying

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stay

show examples

home

and

enjoynig

Correct your spelling

enjoying

watching live shows and concerts via TV

instead

of attending the venue in person.

This

essay is

disscussing

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discussing

both ideas and

state

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states

show examples

my personal opinion.

To begin

with, there are a

numbre

Correct your spelling

number

people

who prefer to use TV to watch live shows

such

as concerts. One reason is that

comparing

Wrong verb form

compared

show examples

to the past, nowadays

people

are busier.

Therefore

, staying

home

is a method of saving time for them.

For instance

, if they want to go to a stadium to watch a football match, they have to spend

significant

Add an article

a significant

show examples

amount of time commuting there and finding a parking lot.

Hence

, by staying

home

they will reduce the time spent

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

commuting to the place of

event

Add an article

the event

show examples

. One other reason is the high price of tickets for

such

shows. If the whole family members want to attend the event they would have to pay for every single person which might be not

cost effective

Add a hyphen

cost-effective

show examples

for them.

On the other hand

, there are still

people

who like going to live

event

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events

show examples

better. The sociability nature of

human

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humans

show examples

is nurtured through presenting in

such

events.

For example

, individuals can mingle with

people

who are sitting next to them

nad

Correct your spelling

and

show examples

befriend them. The other reason is the need of

human

Fix the agreement mistake

humans

show examples

for excitement. social occasions like concerts can increase the adrenaline and provide

an individuals

Correct the article-noun agreement

individuals

an individual

show examples

with amusement. In conclusion,

although

a greater proportion of

people

have the

preferance

Correct your spelling

preference

to watch live shows from

home

compared to the past,

there

Replace the word

their

show examples

majority still find attending these occasions more enjoyable. I personally

belive

Correct your spelling

believe

show examples

to feel the pleasure of a live show, I need to go there in person.

Submitted by Sh.ferdowsian94 on Fri Jun 07 2024

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grammar

Try to proofread your work for minor spelling errors, such as 'disscussing', 'numbre', 'belive', etc. These can slightly distract the reader and affect the overall impression.

coherence

To further improve coherence, ensure each paragraph naturally flows into the next. For example, you could use transition phrases like 'Furthermore', 'In addition', or 'Conversely' to better link ideas between paragraphs.

task response

Consider developing each main point a bit more, perhaps with a few more specific examples or scenarios. This will make your arguments stronger and more convincing.

coherence

Your essay has a clear and logical structure, with distinct paragraphs discussing the different viewpoints.

coherence

The introduction and conclusion are present, providing a good framework for your essay.

task response

You have addressed all parts of the task by discussing both viewpoints and providing your own opinion, which is great for task achievement.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
21
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

288 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

live performance
streaming
mobility issues
busy schedules
substantially cheaper
broadens cultural horizons
customize their environment
electric atmosphere
social interaction
technical issues
immersive experience

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These days people prefer to watch live performances (Shows, concerts) through tv or computer, online rather than go to the place of event. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem?

Many claim that the fast-food industry has a negative effect on the environment, eating habits, and families. To what extend do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experiences. You should write at least 250 words.

Young people are often influenced in their behaviours and situations by others in the same age. This is called "peer pressure". Do the disadvantages of peer pressure outweigh the advantages?

The rate of unemployment in some countries is high. Because of this, there is no need to complete an education beyond a primary school level. Write an essay either for or against this position. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.