These days people prefer to watch live performances (Shows, concerts) through tv or computer, online rather than go to the place of event. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #performances #concerts #tv #computer #place #event

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Some

people

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argue that in today's

world

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world,

show examples

more and

mor epeople

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more people

would rather

staying

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stay

show examples

home

Use synonyms

and

enjoynig

Correct your spelling

enjoying

watching live shows and concerts via TV

instead

Linking Words

of attending the venue in person.

This

Linking Words

essay is

disscussing

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discussing

both ideas and

state

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states

show examples

my personal opinion.

To begin

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with, there are a

numbre

Correct your spelling

number

people

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who prefer to use TV to watch live shows

such

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as concerts. One reason is that

comparing

Wrong verb form

compared

show examples

to the past, nowadays

people

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are busier.

Therefore

Linking Words

, staying

home

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is a method of saving time for them.

For instance

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, if they want to go to a stadium to watch a football match, they have to spend

significant

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a significant

show examples

amount of time commuting there and finding a parking lot.

Hence

Linking Words

, by staying

home

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they will reduce the time spent

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

commuting to the place of

event

Add an article

the event

show examples

. One other reason is the high price of tickets for

such

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shows. If the whole family members want to attend the event they would have to pay for every single person which might be not

cost effective

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cost-effective

show examples

for them.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, there are still

people

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who like going to live

event

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events

show examples

better. The sociability nature of

human

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humans

show examples

is nurtured through presenting in

such

Linking Words

events.

For example

Linking Words

, individuals can mingle with

people

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who are sitting next to them

nad

Correct your spelling

and

show examples

befriend them. The other reason is the need of

human

Fix the agreement mistake

humans

show examples

for excitement. social occasions like concerts can increase the adrenaline and provide

an individuals

Correct the article-noun agreement

individuals

an individual

show examples

with amusement. In conclusion,

although

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a greater proportion of

people

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have the

preferance

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preference

to watch live shows from

home

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compared to the past,

there

Replace the word

their

show examples

majority still find attending these occasions more enjoyable. I personally

belive

Correct your spelling

believe

show examples

to feel the pleasure of a live show, I need to go there in person.

Submitted by Sh.ferdowsian94 on Fri Jun 07 2024

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grammar

Try to proofread your work for minor spelling errors, such as 'disscussing', 'numbre', 'belive', etc. These can slightly distract the reader and affect the overall impression.

coherence

To further improve coherence, ensure each paragraph naturally flows into the next. For example, you could use transition phrases like 'Furthermore', 'In addition', or 'Conversely' to better link ideas between paragraphs.

task response

Consider developing each main point a bit more, perhaps with a few more specific examples or scenarios. This will make your arguments stronger and more convincing.

coherence

Your essay has a clear and logical structure, with distinct paragraphs discussing the different viewpoints.

coherence

The introduction and conclusion are present, providing a good framework for your essay.

task response

You have addressed all parts of the task by discussing both viewpoints and providing your own opinion, which is great for task achievement.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
21
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

288 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

live performance
streaming
mobility issues
busy schedules
substantially cheaper
broadens cultural horizons
customize their environment
electric atmosphere
social interaction
technical issues
immersive experience

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These days people prefer to watch live performances (Shows, concerts) through tv or computer, online rather than go to the place of event. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many people think that mobile phones should be banned in public places such as libraries, shops and public transport. Do you agree or disagree?

Many people around the world use social media day to keep in touch with other people and new events. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Some countries achieve international sports by building specialised facilities to train top athletes, instead of providing sports facilities that everyone can use. Do you think this is positive or negative development? Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Question- Buying tickets on the internet such as books, air tickets and groceries is becoming more and more popular. Do the advantages of shopping in this outweigh the disadvantage

Some people believe that wild animals should not be kept in zoos or other man-made environments as there is no longer a need for them in the 21st century. Do you agree or disagree?