Group or team activities can teach more important skills for life than those activities which are done alone. Do you agree or disagree?
A controversial discussion point is whether
teamworkwork
plays a pivotal role in life rather than working alone. Correct your spelling
teamwork
This
writer believes that working as a group
can foster higher productivity and social skills
.
it is vital to understand that teamworkwork
should be trusted as a way of study. Correct your spelling
teamwork
This
is because,
people can collect ideas and gain knowledge from each other which helps them widen their horizons and climb up the ladder. Remove the comma
apply
As a result
, they are not only acquiring a wide range of knowledge but also
boost
Wrong verb form
boosting
the
productivity in activities. Correct article usage
apply
Therefore
, it is easy to understand why more and more participants prefer taking part in collective work.
However
, some critics argue that team group
is the main reason that leads to distraction among their children. This
belief is based on teenagers making excuses for hanging out with friends instead
of studying in a group
. This
point may be true, but as long as teenagers have self-awareness in studying, they will see an improvement in both social skills
such
as interpersonal skills
or collaboration, otherwise
, they will have to live a retrogressive life.
Besides
an improvement in skills
, people can make more relationships during the tasks which can expand their social circle. During the process, they have chances to interact and know
more about Verb problem
learn
the
partners and Change the word
their
also
strengthen the relationships between friends. Consequently
, those people can receive support from friends and enhance camaraderic
. Correct your spelling
camaraderie
For instance
, during a discussion in a group
, each member will have an opportunity to approach to
the other in a positive way.
In conclusion, Change preposition
apply
thus
, advancement in productivity and social skills
are the most noticeable benefits of team work
. Correct your spelling
teamwork
Hence
, it should have been shown that children will make progress in learning
process.Add an article
the learning
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task achievement
You have clearly addressed the task with a well-rounded discussion on both sides of the argument, which is excellent. However, some ideas could be more deeply developed. For a higher score, consider elaborating with more specific examples and evidence.
coherence cohesion
Your essay follows a logical structure with clear paragraphs for introduction, body, and conclusion. However, there are some minor grammatical mistakes and awkward phrasing that slightly affect the flow. For instance, 'teamworkwork' seems to be a typo, and expressions like 'team group' should be revised for more natural wording.
coherence cohesion
While your introduction and conclusion are present, the latter could be more forceful. Summarize your key points more assertively. Avoid using phrases like 'hence, it should have been shown that,' which are somewhat unclear.
task achievement
You have clearly articulated both sides of the argument, showing a balanced perspective.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a good overall structure, with defined paragraphs for the introduction, body, and conclusion.
task achievement
You provided relevant examples, such as the idea of gaining knowledge from group work and the potential for distraction among teenagers.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example