More and more people want to own items, such as cars, clothing and other things, that are made by famous brands. What are the reasons for this?Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In today's world, a growing number of people have the tendency to purchase their belongings from opulent brands. There are some underlying reasons for
this
phenomenon.
This
essay is going to discuss
most
Correct article usage
the most
show examples
important
one
and its influence on communities.
To begin
with, the higher quality of items produced by
such
brands is
one
of the main reasons, which
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
led to
this
trend.
For instance
, the pricey mobile phones of the Apple company offer
costumers
Correct your spelling
customers
show examples
better quality.
Thses
Correct your spelling
These
phones
Change the noun form
phone
show examples
batteries will stay healthier for a longer period of time.
Therfore
Correct your spelling
Therefore
,
one
would save money, if
the
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
buy
Wrong verb form
bought
show examples
such
phones. The other reason behind
this
wave is the prevalence of consumerism. Some people
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
are used to conspicuous consumption, where they buy goods for the primary purpose of showing
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
how much wealth they have.
This
culture of buying famous branded products has several drawbacks.
First,
the biggest negative impact is the distortion of values. With the spread of
this
culture
Add a comma
culture,
show examples
people will judge each other by their outlooks, but not their personalities.
For example
, individuals driving
million dollor
Correct your spelling
million-dollar
cars are regarded to be more respectful. Another disadvantage of
this
culture is wasting of money.
For
instance
Add a comma
instance,
show examples
one
perosn
Correct your spelling
person
has
recntly
Correct your spelling
recently
bought a new washing machine;
however
, if they become aware that a new product is out, there is a high
possiblity
Correct your spelling
possibility
that
the
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
would buy the new
one
as well. In conclusion,
although
, the expensive branded items may offer a higher quality, they have potential
disavantages
Correct your spelling
disadvantages
.
Submitted by Sh.ferdowsian94 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
You could improve coherence by clearly organizing paragraphs with topic sentences and more systematic argumentation. Each paragraph should have a concise, focused point that connects back to your main thesis.
task achievement
Pay attention to spelling and typographical errors. For example, words like 'costumers' should be 'customers', and 'therfore' should be 'therefore'. Minimizing such errors can improve clarity and professionalism in your essay.
task achievement
You provided relevant and specific examples to support your points, which makes your argument stronger. This is important for a well-rounded essay.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points, providing a clear ending to the essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: