The diagrams below show the life cycle of a species of large fish called the salmon.

The diagrams below show the life cycle of a species of large fish called the salmon.
The diagram illustrates the life cycle of the salmon fish, depicting its various stages from spawning to maturity.
Overall
, there are four stages in the process, beginning with spawning in the upper
river
and ending with returning to the first place for laying eggs. The initial stage of the salmon life cycle begins with spawning in the slow-moving water where the eggs are laid for around 5 to 6 months. After
which
Correct pronoun usage
this
show examples
, the juveniles move to the lower
river
in which fast-flowing water attracts fish.
Furthermore
, in
this
stage fry salmon’s size is different between 3cm to 8cm in length. After living in the lower
river
for four years and becoming a smolt in a size of at least 12cm, they move to open sea where their adult life begins. They live in the open sea for five years and during
this
period they grow significantly and reach 70cm to 76cm in size.
Finally
, they return to the upper
river
for reproduction purposes.
Submitted by amirahmadi9301 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words river, cm with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: The word "move" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Life cycle
  • Spawning
  • Freshwater
  • Juvenile
  • Fry
  • Adaptation
  • Migration
  • Smolt
  • Rivers
  • Ocean
  • Challenge
  • Growth
  • Return journey
  • Hatching ground
  • Perilous
  • Upstream
  • Obstacle
  • Ecological impact
  • Preservation
  • Disturbance
What to do next:
Look at other essays: