The diagrams below show the life cycle of a species of large fish called the salmon.

The diagrams below show the life cycle of a species of large fish called the salmon.
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The diagram illustrates the life cycle of the salmon fish, depicting its various stages from spawning to maturity.
Overall
Linking Words
, there are four stages in the process, beginning with spawning in the upper
river
Use synonyms
and ending with returning to the first place for laying eggs. The initial stage of the salmon life cycle begins with spawning in the slow-moving water where the eggs are laid for around 5 to 6 months. After
which
Correct pronoun usage
this
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, the juveniles move to the lower
river
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in which fast-flowing water attracts fish.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, in
this
Linking Words
stage fry salmon’s size is different between 3cm to 8cm in length. After living in the lower
river
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for four years and becoming a smolt in a size of at least 12cm, they move to open sea where their adult life begins. They live in the open sea for five years and during
this
Linking Words
period they grow significantly and reach 70cm to 76cm in size.
Finally
Linking Words
, they return to the upper
river
Use synonyms
for reproduction purposes.
Submitted by amirahmadi9301 on

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words river, cm with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: The word "move" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Life cycle
  • Spawning
  • Freshwater
  • Juvenile
  • Fry
  • Adaptation
  • Migration
  • Smolt
  • Rivers
  • Ocean
  • Challenge
  • Growth
  • Return journey
  • Hatching ground
  • Perilous
  • Upstream
  • Obstacle
  • Ecological impact
  • Preservation
  • Disturbance
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