The debate exists on whether young people should have the freedom to select their own profession or if they should adopt a pragmatic approach, considering their future more seriously. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#debate #people #freedom #profession #approach #future

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There is a conversation going on regarding whether the decision of their

job

should be taken by

youth

Correct article usage

the youth

show examples

themselves or by in a more planned way thinking about the

job

industry in years to come.

Job

is what we are going to do throughout our whole lives. So, it should give some kind of satisfaction to the individual to carry on with more career development . When we consider

about

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the above fact,it is better to choose a

future

career for young people themselves as they are the people who know their own passion more than anyone. When it comes to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

adopting a pragmatic approach, it is very convenient and secure.Because

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

we can study

about

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the

future

job

market and start studies

accordingly

Job

security and income are safeguarded in

this

entering

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entry

show examples

as we have a broad vision. In my opinion,I think we should consider both approaches giving equal weight and should come to a conclusion.We can ask kids about their

future

dreams and

then

we can educate them regarding the

future

job

market.Leading them to the correct path to find their passion

according to

what the world needs would be really beneficial.

To sum up

,freedom should be given to youth to select their profession

while

adopting a pragmatic approach to some extent will be the best way to decide on

Remove the article

apply

show examples

future

care.

Submitted by dinaka0001 on Fri Jun 07 2024

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task achievement

Your essay does address both sides of the argument and provides a personal opinion, which is good. However, it would benefit from deeper elaboration on each point and more specific examples to illustrate your arguments.

task achievement

Try to expand on your ideas more comprehensively to provide a clearer and more detailed response to the task. Adding some relevant and specific examples can also strengthen your argument.

coherence cohesion

There is a good logical structure to your essay, but ensuring each paragraph is more thoroughly developed will improve coherence. Providing clear transitions between ideas will also help.

coherence cohesion

To enhance coherence and cohesion, make sure each paragraph flows smoothly into the next. Including more linking words and phrases can help achieve this.

coherence cohesion

Your introduction and conclusion are present and serve their purpose well. However, a more detailed conclusion could reinforce your main points effectively.

task achievement

Your essay presents a balanced discussion of both views and offers your own opinion, which is essential for a high score in task achievement.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion clearly outline and summarize your main points, which is good practice.

coherence cohesion

Your essay follows a logical structure, which helps in understanding your arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

224 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

empowers
fulfilling careers
personal satisfaction
job security
potential earnings
market demand
pragmatic choice
stability
secure future
intertwining
emerging market trends
innovation
ecosystem
guidance
skill development

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The debate exists on whether young people should have the freedom to select their own profession or if they should adopt a pragmatic approach, considering their future more seriously. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

As languages such as English, Spanish and Mandarin become more widely spoken, there is a fear that many minority languages may die out. Some countries have taken steps to protect minority languages. What is your view of this practice? task 2

Newspapers have influenced people's idea and opinions. What are the reason for this? Is this a positive or a nagative devlopment?

These days wealthy in the society often throw away perfectly good products in order to replace them with more up-to-date models. Do the enviromental disadvantages outweigh the economic advantages ?

In modern society, urbanization is leading to a significant decline in the practice of traditional farming. What are the primary factors driving this shift? Do the positive outcomes of this transition outweigh the negative consequences?