Many people in the music business feel that illegal music sites on the internet are a serious threat to the industry and more should be done to prevent them from operating. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The
music
Use synonyms
industry
Use synonyms
, just like other sectors, faces numerous threats that lead to loss of revenue and increased discouragement.
This
Linking Words
industry
Use synonyms
will collapse if enough actions are not taken.
Thus
Linking Words
, to decrease the impacts of threats, international
bodies
Use synonyms
should act promptly and effectively. From my perspective, regulatory
bodies
Use synonyms
must apply greater control and Supervision and access to
music
Use synonyms
needs to be easier and cheaper. First of all, as we experienced during the COVID-19 pandemic, actions from the international body are crucial and play a primary role in protecting the
music
Use synonyms
industry
Use synonyms
from
piracy
Use synonyms
. Of course, if all
countries
Use synonyms
do not obey the international copywriting laws, nothing is changed about
piracy
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, Iran is one of the
countries
Use synonyms
that does not have enough supervision of copywriting laws, so the existence of
this
Linking Words
gap will cause
music
Use synonyms
to be published illegally at the international level.
As a result
Linking Words
, regulatory
bodies
Use synonyms
should be controlled more and define sufficient punishment for
countries
Use synonyms
that do not obey the copywriting rules.
Secondly
Linking Words
, the high cost of living forces people to find the cheapest way to listen to
music
Use synonyms
even with Peer-to-peer networks freely.
Therefore
Linking Words
, in my opinion, preparing
music
Use synonyms
at a low price is a great way to decrease copyright infringement.
For example
Linking Words
, encouraging people to use the original brands
instead
Linking Words
of fake clothes by selling some products in seasonal promotions by well-known clothing brands is the guaranteed method against digital
piracy
Use synonyms
and counterfeit
music
Use synonyms
websites.
To sum up
Linking Words
, on the one hand,
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
establishing and implementing fair and equal
copywrite
Correct your spelling
copywriting
laws in all
countries
Use synonyms
throughout the world against digital
piracy
Use synonyms
and
supervising
Replace the word
supervision
show examples
by international regulatory
bodies
Use synonyms
and
on the other hand
Linking Words
, providing
low price
Add a hyphen
low-price
show examples
music
Use synonyms
by selling strategies can reduce
risk
Correct article usage
the risk
show examples
of threatening in the
music
Use synonyms
industry
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by [email protected] on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Your introduction can be slightly improved for clarity. Consider stating your main argument more explicitly and concisely at the end of the introduction.
task response
Some examples provided are weak or do not fully illustrate your points. Try to offer more concrete and directly relevant examples to support your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Some transitions between ideas could be smoother. Make sure there is a clear linkage between all your points and paragraphs to enhance the overall flow.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, making it easy to follow.
coherence cohesion
You have well-defined main points and the arguments are generally supported with suitable explanations.
task achievement
You have comprehensively addressed the question and presented clear ideas on the topic.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • intellectual property
  • piracy
  • copyright infringement
  • revenue loss
  • digital rights management (DRM)
  • streaming platforms
  • illegal downloads
  • file sharing
  • economic impact
  • ethical considerations
  • music royalties
  • legislation
  • consumer ethics
  • affordable alternatives
  • music industry sustainability
  • emerging artists
  • legitimate sources
  • pirated content
  • distribution platforms
  • technological countermeasures
What to do next:
Look at other essays: