Many people in the music business feel that illegal music sites on the internet are a serious threat to the industry and more should be done to prevent them from operating. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?

The
music
industry
, just like other sectors, faces numerous threats that lead to loss of revenue and increased discouragement.
This
industry
will collapse if enough actions are not taken.
Thus
, to decrease the impacts of threats, international
bodies
should act promptly and effectively. From my perspective, regulatory
bodies
must apply greater control and Supervision and access to
music
needs to be easier and cheaper. First of all, as we experienced during the COVID-19 pandemic, actions from the international body are crucial and play a primary role in protecting the
music
industry
from
piracy
. Of course, if all
countries
do not obey the international copywriting laws, nothing is changed about
piracy
.
For instance
, Iran is one of the
countries
that does not have enough supervision of copywriting laws, so the existence of
this
gap will cause
music
to be published illegally at the international level.
As a result
, regulatory
bodies
should be controlled more and define sufficient punishment for
countries
that do not obey the copywriting rules.
Secondly
, the high cost of living forces people to find the cheapest way to listen to
music
even with Peer-to-peer networks freely.
Therefore
, in my opinion, preparing
music
at a low price is a great way to decrease copyright infringement.
For example
, encouraging people to use the original brands
instead
of fake clothes by selling some products in seasonal promotions by well-known clothing brands is the guaranteed method against digital
piracy
and counterfeit
music
websites.
To sum up
, on the one hand,
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
establishing and implementing fair and equal
copywrite
Correct your spelling
copywriting
laws in all
countries
throughout the world against digital
piracy
and
supervising
Replace the word
supervision
show examples
by international regulatory
bodies
and
on the other hand
, providing
low price
Add a hyphen
low-price
show examples
music
by selling strategies can reduce
risk
Correct article usage
the risk
show examples
of threatening in the
music
industry
.
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task response
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coherence cohesion
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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • intellectual property
  • piracy
  • copyright infringement
  • revenue loss
  • digital rights management (DRM)
  • streaming platforms
  • illegal downloads
  • file sharing
  • economic impact
  • ethical considerations
  • music royalties
  • legislation
  • consumer ethics
  • affordable alternatives
  • music industry sustainability
  • emerging artists
  • legitimate sources
  • pirated content
  • distribution platforms
  • technological countermeasures
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