Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that ti is better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #university #college #route #career #ti #job #school

Nowadays, after starting studies

University

education,

students

shall

Verb problem

apply

show examples

spend time

Change preposition

show examples

their

job

Fix the agreement mistake

jobs

show examples

. From

Change the word

this

show examples

perspective, I disagree with

that

Correct determiner usage

those

show examples

ideas and will show the reasons why It is vital to understand that

students

beginning work is not the best way to do it. In today's society,

although

there are jobs that do not need a degree, you can still do it but have a degree to be considered.

As a result

it is clear that

those with a degree and well-trained will have higher

job

opportunities.

In addition

, one of the most reasons important that

barners

Change the capitalization

Barners

show examples

study college

Add a missing verb

is to

show examples

increase profits. It is not too difficult to explain if

students

had a graduate

university

, they would have more opportunities to have a great

job

in order to

have

Verb problem

earn

show examples

more money.

Furthermore

, another point to consider is that teenagers give time when they graduate high school. The target of high

school's

Change noun form

school

show examples

education is to teach

students

with

Change preposition

apply

show examples

basic

knowledge

whereas

the goal of

eduation

Correct your spelling

education

university

is to equip

students

with specialized

knowledge

and

skill

Fix the agreement mistake

skills

show examples

in a field to work. During

university

studies, the college will equip them with soft skills or teenagers will

pratice

Correct your spelling

practice

practise

these skills

participating

Change preposition

by participating

show examples

in teamwork and clubs.

Therefore

, soft skills will

be help

Change the verb form

help

show examples

them how to choose suitable

job

Fix the agreement mistake

jobs

show examples

and

university

students

will gain in-depth

knowledge

to have a

job

. In conclusion,

this

author disagrees with

this

Correct determiner usage

the

show examples

view that teenagers have a successful

job

without going to school and the problem

can

Correct pronoun usage

that can

show examples

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

occured

Correct your spelling

occur

in work is not

have

Wrong verb form

having

show examples

a certificate and lack of

knowledge

Submitted by [email protected] on Fri Jun 07 2024

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general

Work on grammatical accuracy and sentence structure to present ideas more clearly and effectively.

task achievement

Expand on points with more specific examples to strengthen arguments and show comprehensive understanding.

coherence and cohesion

Enhance logical flow between paragraphs and ensure ideas transition smoothly from one to another.

coherence and cohesion

Introduction and conclusion present, providing structure to the essay.

task achievement

Addressing both perspectives as required by the prompt, showcasing an understanding of the task.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
21Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

260 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that ti is better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Modern children are suffering from the diseases that were once considered to only be meant for adults. Obesity is a major disease prevalent among children. What are its causes, and what solutions can solution

Young adults are now choosing to wait until later in life, often until they are in their 30s, to settle down and get married. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

There are debates about importantness of history in providing information abou

Some people think that robots are very important for human’s future development. Others, however, think that robots are a dangerous invention that could have negative effect on society. Discuss both views and give your opinion.