Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that ti is better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Nowadays, after starting studies
University
education,
students
shall
Verb problem
apply
show examples
spend time
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
their
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
. From
my
Change the word
this
show examples
perspective, I disagree with
that
Correct determiner usage
those
show examples
ideas and will show the reasons why It is vital to understand that
students
beginning work is not the best way to do it. In today's society,
although
there are jobs that do not need a degree, you can still do it but have a degree to be considered.
As a result
,
it is clear that
those with a degree and well-trained will have higher
job
opportunities.
In addition
, one of the most reasons important that
barners
Change the capitalization
Barners
show examples
study college
to
Add a missing verb
is to
show examples
increase profits. It is not too difficult to explain if
students
had a graduate
university
, they would have more opportunities to have a great
job
in order to
have
Verb problem
earn
show examples
more money.
Furthermore
, another point to consider is that teenagers give time when they graduate high school. The target of high
school's
Change noun form
school
show examples
education is to teach
students
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
basic
knowledge
whereas
the goal of
eduation
Correct your spelling
education
at
university
is to equip
students
with specialized
knowledge
and
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
in a field to work. During
university
studies, the college will equip them with soft skills or teenagers will
pratice
Correct your spelling
practice
practise
these skills
participating
Change preposition
by participating
show examples
in teamwork and clubs.
Therefore
, soft skills will
be help
Change the verb form
help
show examples
them how to choose suitable
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
and
university
students
will gain in-depth
knowledge
to have a
job
. In conclusion,
this
author disagrees with
this
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
view that teenagers have a successful
job
without going to school and the problem
can
Correct pronoun usage
that can
show examples
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
occured
Correct your spelling
occur
in work is not
have
Wrong verb form
having
show examples
a certificate and lack of
knowledge
.
Submitted by [email protected] on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

general
Work on grammatical accuracy and sentence structure to present ideas more clearly and effectively.
task achievement
Expand on points with more specific examples to strengthen arguments and show comprehensive understanding.
coherence and cohesion
Enhance logical flow between paragraphs and ensure ideas transition smoothly from one to another.
coherence and cohesion
Introduction and conclusion present, providing structure to the essay.
task achievement
Addressing both perspectives as required by the prompt, showcasing an understanding of the task.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: