There is no doubt that globalisation has benefited the world by bringing together people, business and nations. People who criticise it stand in the way of progress. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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The
world
is better
due to
globalisation
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
has reunited
people
, it
had
Wrong verb form
has
show examples
moved
Correct article usage
the business
show examples
business
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
show examples
and interests of nations. There are
people
who disagree and they are trying to sabotage the process. I agree with
people
who
substain
Correct your spelling
sustain
that
globalisation
is essential for a better
world
today. In
this
essay, I will explain why.
People
who criticise the phenomenon,
pheraps
Correct your spelling
perhaps
, are not too
inform
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informed
show examples
about the advantages that
globallisation
Correct your spelling
globalisation
globalization
can bring to us and our countries. These
people
want
Add the particle
want to
show examples
interrupt
this
flow to not
encorauge
Correct your spelling
encourage
others
follow
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to follow
show examples
the school of thought that
this
phenomenon is necessary.
For example
, there are groups of
people
who
that
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apply
show examples
are against the
world
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world's
show examples
progress and they usually find a specific date to go in front of the authorities building and protest for their
believes
Replace the word
beliefs
show examples
. In spite of
people
who are against it, there are many others
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
argue that
globalisation
is the anchor of our
world
. Thanks to
this
process the
world
economy running faster and is getting wider all over the globe.
For instance
, poor countries in South America or South Africa are the main reasons to
substain
Correct your spelling
sustain
this
process, because today in many small villages there are
finally
people
who can work, earn money,
thus
Correct word choice
and thus
show examples
subcribe
Correct your spelling
subscribe
their children
at
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to
show examples
school. In conclusion,
globalisation
is a circle of opportunities that are going around the
world
, where many individuals can find a way, a
reson
Correct your spelling
reason
to live their
life
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lives
show examples
. In the end, money can not
creates
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create
show examples
happyness
Correct your spelling
happiness
, but it can surely
creates
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create
show examples
dignity, especially for
people
who have nothing.
Submitted by bucciarellianna3 on

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task achievement
Try to develop your arguments more thoroughly. Provide additional examples and explanations to strengthen your points.
coherence cohesion
Make sure your sentences are grammatically correct and carefully proofread your essay to correct spelling mistakes like 'pheraps', 'globallisation', 'encorauge', and 'happyness'.
coherence cohesion
Work on sentence structure to make your paragraphs clearer and more coherent. Use linking words to smoothly transition between ideas.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion. This is important to guide the reader through your essay and reinforce your main points.
task achievement
Your essay addresses both sides of the argument, which is a good approach to demonstrate a balanced perspective.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • international trade
  • cultural homogenization
  • multinational corporations
  • sustainable development
  • economic disparities
  • technological advancement
  • cultural exchange
  • scrutinize
  • ethics
  • innovation
  • connectivity
  • protectionism
  • outsourcing
  • free market
  • trade liberalization
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