IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

You successfully passed a job interview. You are expected to start on next month, but you will not be available on that date. Write a letter to your new boss, explaining your situation suggest a solution tell them when you can start

#job #interview #month #date #boss #situation
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Dear Mr. Smith, I am writing to you regarding my job's start day, which
has been
Wrong verb form
is
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 supposed to be
25th
Correct article usage
the 25th
show examples
 of July, 2024. I am unfortunately unable to start at the due date since I have been diagnosed to require passing an emergency operation on 1st of July.
This
Linking Words
 surgery was supposed to be done on
15th
Correct article usage
the 15th
show examples
 of June;
however
Linking Words
, it has been postponed because my doctor will be on a working trip at that time. Please accept my apology and change the date, when I should start my work.
Otherwise
Linking Words
, I
should
Verb problem
will
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 miss the precious opportunity of being a member of your esteemed organization, which will be an extremely heartbreaking experience for me. If
change
Add an article
a change
the change
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 of date were possible, I would be truly
honored
Change the spelling
honoured
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 to start my work just
few
Change the article
a few
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 days after my recovery, which will be
23rd
Correct article usage
the 23rd
show examples
 of July. I really appreciate your kind understanding and I look forward to getting your reply, Faithfully yours, Maria Sobhani
Submitted by mojgan.sobhani on

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task achievement
While the letter is clear and well-organized, try to be concise when explaining the situation. For example, 'I need to undergo an emergency operation on 1st July, which was initially scheduled for 15th June but had to be postponed due to my doctor's unavailability.'
coherence cohesion
To further enhance coherence, consider using more transition words or phrases to connect your points more fluidly. For instance, 'Given the circumstances, I kindly request...'
task achievement
The writing tone is very respectful and suitable for a formal letter to a new boss.
coherence cohesion
The letter has a clear logical structure, with a good balance of paragraphs addressing different points.
coherence cohesion
The greeting and closing of the letter are appropriate and professionally stated.
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