Many people these days rely on traditional medicines rather than going to doctors. What are the causes? Is this a positive or negative development?
In
Change preposition
At
the
present, many Correct article usage
apply
people
consider trusting on
traditional Change preposition
apply
medicine
such
as using herbs for curing illness and other methods rather than going to doctors. I think this
is a negative development which I want to discuss about cause and effect in the following paragraphs.
One of the reasons why many people
rely on traditional medicines rather than going to the doctor is believing in the past that ancestors used traditional methods and traditional medicine
made by
natural products that will be good for health. So they prefer traditional Change preposition
of
medicine
rather than medicine
in the present.
Another reason that many people
use traditional medicines is the distance between home and hospital. If you go outside of the city , you can see that it is very hard to go to the hospital because some people
don’t have a car or public transport to the hospital. In public hospitals, patients are crowned and wait for a long time to see the doctor. Some people
rely on traditional healing because of bad experiences in the hospital .
The traditional
therapy has both advantages and disadvantages but Correct article usage
Traditional
this
method of healing doesn't have medical research that proves it would be safe for the patient in the long term. In contrast
, modern medicine
and modern drugs that doctors use have many studies that describe benefits and are safe for the patient. I think traditional medicines cause adverse effects more than modern medicine
.
In conclusion, I think many people
rely on traditional medicine
rather than going to doctors because of their beliefs, their time and their experience. Nevertheless
, I believe it is a negative development due to
the not fully researched background the traditional herbs have that can lead to serious consequences in a person's well-being.Submitted by papica13 on
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coherence cohesion
The essay could benefit from clearer transitions between ideas and paragraphs. For example, starting sentences with phrases like 'Firstly,' 'Additionally,' or 'In conclusion' can guide the reader more effectively.
task achievement
To improve clarity and comprehensiveness of ideas, try to elaborate more on each point made. Provide specific examples or anecdotes that can make the argument more convincing.
task achievement
Consider not just discussing the negative aspects but also briefly mentioning any positive aspects to make the essay more balanced.
coherence cohesion
The introduction clearly states the writer's opinion and what will be discussed in the essay, setting a clear direction for the writing.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and reiterates the writer's stance, providing a coherent end to the essay.
task achievement
The essay addresses the prompt efficiently by discussing both causes and effects, maintaining relevance throughout.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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