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Band 5

Some people think that foreign films and programmes have a negative impact on local culture. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #films #programmes #impact #culture
Some people express their opinion that international cinemas and TV shows
bring out
Verb problem
have
show examples
 an adverse effect on the local
culture
. I vehemently
diagree
Correct your spelling
disagree
 with
this
 opinion because I believe that they promote creative
inspiration
 and social and political awareness. Foreign films can enrich local
culture
thorugh
Correct your spelling
through
 artistic
inspiration
 and innovation. These cinemas often introduce fresh narrative techniques, artistic styles and visual aesthetics that can provide
inspiration
 for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
local filmmakers.
This
 exposure to different cinematic styles can ignite creativity, extend artistic choices and inspire to employ new storytelling techniques.
For example
, a local moviemaker may find
inspiration
 from the visual narrative methods
presents
Wrong verb form
presented
show examples
 in a critically acclaimed foreign film and may
incoporate
Correct your spelling
incorporate
 the features of that style into his work, developing the invention of a distinct hybrid style that blends the local cultural elements with international artistic styles.
Likewise
, foreign programmes
also
 contribute to local
culture
 by raising social and political awareness. They bring forth political, social and cultural challenges that resonate with viewers worldwide. They can throw light on societal dynamics, historical events and global issues that may
also
 be pertinent to local audiences.
For instance
, a documentary, which
addressess
Correct your spelling
addresses
 global greenhouse effects, can stimulate conversation and environmental activism within the community.
To conclude
, I believe foreign films and programmes positively contribute to the local
culture
 as they foster artistic
inspiration
 and innovation
as well as
 develop social and political consciousness.
Submitted by sejal.h on

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task achievement
Your essay presents a clear stance on the topic and provides relevant reasons to support your perspective. However, try to delve deeper into your arguments and provide a more thorough analysis.
coherence cohesion
While your essay has a logical flow, ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. Adding transitional phrases can help improve the overall coherence.
coherence cohesion
Make sure to proofread your essay for minor grammatical errors and typos, such as 'diagree' instead of 'disagree' and 'thorugh' instead of 'through'. This will enhance the overall readability of your essay.
task achievement
Your essay has clear and comprehensive ideas that effectively address the prompt. The arguments are well-structured and relevant to the topic.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are effectively present, providing a clear perspective on the issue at hand.
task achievement
You successfully support your main points with relevant and specific examples, which strengthens your argument.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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