More and more people are working from rather than at the workplace. Some people say this will bring benefits to the workers and their families, but others think it will bring stress to the home. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some argue that accomplishing
work
tasks at home is convenient for
employee
Fix the agreement mistake
employees
show examples
,
while
others consider it as unnecessary
tention
Correct your spelling
tension
delivered to all family members. In
this
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
both sides of
this
phenomena
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phenomenon
show examples
will be discussed before delving into why I oppose working remotely. on the one hand, achieving the tasks without the consideration of the place is the most significant consideration for any establishment. The gained
flexability
Correct your spelling
flexibility
will hone the productivity of any staff and boost
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
productivity in general.
In addition
, the cost will be insignificant as there will be no
madatory
Correct your spelling
mandatory
bill for maintenance
nor
Correct word choice
or
show examples
renting which will eventually boost the profits.
Therefore
, several companies encourage
such
pattern
Correct article usage
a pattern
show examples
of
work
.
For example
, several renowned facilities
such
as Amazon provide
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
remote
work
opportunities for
any
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apply
show examples
qualified candidates.
On the other hand
, the family is the major
concerns
Fix the agreement mistake
concern
show examples
for several individuals. Sharing the
resposibilty
Correct your spelling
responsibility
towards
childreen
Correct your spelling
children
will
insure
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ensure
show examples
a better future for them. Meanwhile, getting distracted with matters related to
work
,
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apply
show examples
has a detrimental effect on the offspring and parents as well.
Moreover
, the natural bond which
connect
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connects
show examples
every single member
in
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of
show examples
one family will be in danger which will lead to
exaggerate
Replace the word
exaggeration
show examples
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
incidence of divorce in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society.
For instance
, after covid-19, divorce reached
unprecedented
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an unprecedented
show examples
level in several nations all over the globe. In conclusion, I totally disagree with working outside the assigned
work place
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workplace
show examples
, as securing the
nation
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nation's
show examples
harmony and stability is
more
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a more
show examples
serious
concer
Correct your spelling
concern
cancer
and the risks can outweigh the benefits. Recently, many governments
encourage
Wrong verb form
have encouraged
show examples
the return to
work places
Correct your spelling
workplaces
show examples
to secure their populations.
Submitted by ahmed_berry310eg on

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task achievement
To strengthen your argument, elaborate more on why you oppose remote working. Address potential counterarguments more thoroughly to present a balanced discussion.
coherence and cohesion
Enhance cohesion by using more linking phrases and words to connect ideas within and between paragraphs. For example, words like 'furthermore', 'in addition', and 'however' can help improve the flow of the essay.
structure
The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in framing the discussion effectively.
task achievement
Main points are generally well-supported by relevant examples, such as the mention of Amazon and the increase in divorce rates post-COVID-19.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • telecommuting
  • remote work
  • work-life balance
  • flexible schedule
  • overhead costs
  • commuting
  • productivity
  • burnout
  • isolation
  • team cohesion
  • domestic responsibilities
  • work attire
  • financial savings
  • blurred boundaries
  • mental health
  • social interaction
  • downsizing
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