IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The chart below shows the reasons why people travel to work by bicycle or by car. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the reasons why people travel to work by bicycle or by car. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#people #travel #work #bicycle #car #summaries #information #features #comparisons
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The pie charts illustrate several reasons why
people
Use synonyms
 choose
bicycle
Correct article usage
a bicycle
show examples
 or car to get to
work
Use synonyms
. In general, each has five different reasons and the proportions are varied. On the one hand, about one-third of the
people
Use synonyms
 cycling to
work
Use synonyms
 are caring
their
Change preposition
about their
show examples
 health and fitness,
while
Linking Words
 another one-third are considerate of making less pollution. Only 15% of the
bike-riders
Correct your spelling
bike riders
show examples
 choose to cycle because they have no problems with parking, and 13% like to cycle as they don't have to pay for commuting devices.
Last
Linking Words
, 12% of the
people
Use synonyms
 who cycle think that cycling is faster than driving a car.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, up to 40% of the drivers think it is the most comfortable way to get to
work
Use synonyms
. One-fifth of the drivers think it is better to drive because the distance to
work
Use synonyms
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
matter
Fix the agreement mistake
matters
show examples
.
Otherwise
Linking Words
, 14% of the
driver
Fix the agreement mistake
drivers
show examples
 consider the car
is
Wrong verb form
to be
show examples
 faster than the bicycle,
while
Linking Words
 another 14% think that they need cars to bring things to
work
Use synonyms
.
Finally
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 who think driving is safer than cycling
acounted
Correct your spelling
accounted
 for 11% of the drivers.
Submitted by JE on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words people, work with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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