Today our communications, medicine and transport systems all depend on computer technology. Our reliance on computer technology in these fields has created a dangerous situation. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
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Information technology has revolutionised the way in which the world operates. Critics argue that
this
has resulted in a dependence on computers
which may be dangerous. I would argue that any danger can be addressed if adequate safety measures are implemented.
There is no doubt that recent technological developments have caused a reliance on computers
. Our transport, medicine and communications systems
are all now completely computer-based - and have become more efficient, more flexible and less costly as a direct result. These are massive advantages. However
, there is a downside: our infrastructure has become so complex that it can now only be operated with the aid of IT and (if the computers
which manage it either break down or are attacked) then
our society itself is potentially at risk.
There have been rising levels of cyber
attacks in recent years. Cyber criminals
try to become rich at our expense. Hackers and computer activists seek to acquire information about individuals, companies or governments for political reasons. Experts worry that Correct your spelling
Cybercriminals
cyber
terrorists or foreign powers may even seek to destabilize a whole country by attacking its computer systems
. Finally
there is an ever-growing number of viruses that can make IT devices and networks function in unpredictable ways.
Governments and companies need to take these threats seriously. They can do Add a comma
Finally,
this
by spending money on making our systems
secure in order to reduce the risk of such
cyber
attacks. Not only is it important that our systems
are secure from these threats, but also
that there is some means of backup in the event of any equipment malfunctioning. Machines can and do break.
In conclusion, there is no doubt that we are reliant on computers
and that these computer systems
are at risk, whether from open attack
or Fix the agreement mistake
attacks
breakdown
. Fix the agreement mistake
breakdowns
However
, I would argue that the improvements to our quality of life brought by these systems
outweigh any dangers and that we therefore
need to focus on the security and reliability of our technology.Submitted by bhavifasai on
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task achievement
Consider adding more specific examples or case studies to strengthen your points. This can make your argument more persuasive and relatable.
coherence cohesion
Some sentences can be made more concise. For instance, instead of saying 'machines can and do break,' you could say 'machines inevitably break.' This can sharpen your writing.
task achievement
You've provided a clear and comprehensive response to the task, covering all key aspects effectively.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a logical structure with well-defined paragraphs and clear transitions, making it easy to follow your argument.
coherence cohesion
You've concluded well by summarizing your main points and stating your final position clearly.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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