Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important to make decisions about matters that affect them. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

while
some people
beileve
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believe
if let
childreen
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children
choice
Replace the word
choose
show examples
by
Change preposition
on
show examples
their own for their
dayli
Correct your spelling
daily
routine activities
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
them selfish in society when they grow up, others think it is necessary for children to decide
aboput
Correct your spelling
about
events which are effective
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
them I strongly believe we have to give them
this
apportunity to decide by themselves,
this
is their own
life
. If we let our
child
to be independent and make their own decision they would be able to solve their issue when they grow up. A
child
who does all of her or his activity
keep
Change the verb form
keeps
show examples
this
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
Correct your spelling
until
untill
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until
get
Correct subject-verb agreement
gets
show examples
one
Correct determiner usage
an
show examples
adult and the things an adult does as an independent person
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
so clear they
adupted
Wrong verb form
are supposed
show examples
to be strong in their
life
they know that have to do everything they want.
Acording
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According
the Dr.Fisher
psycologist
Correct your spelling
psychologist
researcher he told
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
his latest
spech
Correct your spelling
speech
almost 60% of people who could make a dream
life
were the persons who had to do their own
activity
Fix the agreement mistake
activities
show examples
and
choiced
Correct your spelling
choose
their routine
life
when they were a
child
also
he
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
sugested
Correct your spelling
suggested
that you`d better to not be an strict by your children. So these people can not
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
be
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
who just want to
recieve
Correct your spelling
achieve
their own goals and that could not happen.
On the other
hand
Add a comma
hand,
show examples
if we do not let them
to choice
Correct your spelling
choose
show examples
what they want to do, they will not feel like being free.
This
idea can be effective on their mind to be
limitted
Correct your spelling
limited
, they think everything is not
accsessable
Correct your spelling
accessible
for them and when they grow up they will a body who just want to find their own wanted, goals and dream.
For
example
Add a comma
example,
show examples
if a
chlid
Correct your spelling
child
want
Correct subject-verb agreement
wants
show examples
to eat pizza for nights and his or her family do not
let
Correct pronoun usage
let it
show examples
, when it will an adult may every night eat that pizza so
this
body anytime can not think about
create
Change the form of the verb
creating
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
value for society. In all I believe
child
Fix the agreement mistake
children
show examples
have to be free so that anything not be a limitation for them in
this
case they can be a
sucsessful
Correct your spelling
successful
person.
Submitted by TUTOO on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure the essay has a clear and concise introduction, body, and conclusion to improve the logical structure and overall coherence.
general
Revising grammar and spelling errors would make the essay more polished and professional.
coherence cohesion
Use a variety of sentence structures to enhance readability and interest. This helps with clarity and maintains reader engagement.
task achievement
The essay addresses both views on the topic, fulfilling the task requirement.
task achievement
Specific examples, like the reference to Dr. Fisher, help to emphasize points and support arguments effectively.
task achievement
The writer has strong opinions and presents a clear stance within the essay, which is important for task response.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Autonomy
  • Consequence-awareness
  • Self-centered
  • Informal decision-making education
  • Child development
  • Age-appropriate choices
  • Cognitive growth
  • Fostering independence
  • Parental guidance
  • Societal norms
  • Interpersonal consideration
  • Balance of freedom
  • Individualism versus collectivism
  • Experience-based learning
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