We live in a world of technology these days. While the internet brings with it clear advantages, the problem in terms of control and security of information outweighs the advantages. To what extent do you agree?
Nowadays, in the modern age, the
internet
has brought advantages and disadvantages to our world. It makes our life easier. Furthermore
, people
can do many things without standing from
the sofa. Let’s discuss the pros and cons that we have on the Change preposition
on
internet
.
The first advantage that comes to my mind is bank
systems in your phone. Correct article usage
the bank
This
helps you to make any transaction just
Change preposition
with just
by
one click without leaving home and doing something in the local bank. Change preposition
apply
On the other
hand
we have old Add a comma
hand,
people
who don’t know how to use this
technology, which means fraudsters will have the possibility to steal their money. For instance
, in the period of Coronavirus
we can buy stuff online. Add a comma
Coronavirus,
Moreover
they do not have any risks of being infected.
The second thing I want to talk about is the Add a comma
Moreover,
internet
in general. The Net helps firms move to other countries, open
their affiliated societies. In other cases it helps in education processes Correct word choice
and open
while
people
staying on
Wrong verb form
stay
the
long distance from each other they still have the possibility to stay in touch Correct article usage
a
by
apps Change preposition
through
such
as zoom
, Capitalize word
Zoom
google meet
or any kind of social media. If we go back to the example with Coronavirus in Correct your spelling
Google Meet
such
a situation people
still can communicate by voice or video calls.
Finally
, in my opinion
the Add a comma
opinion,
internet
brought many advantages in our life
but there are drawbacks for unaware Fix the agreement mistake
lives
people
. There still exist threats to lose personal data, money etc… Moving on to ways how you can protect yourself is just taking courses in cybersecurity.Submitted by vladkruglovfencer on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
Ensure a clear stance on the topic question is provided in the introduction, and maintain this stance throughout the essay.
coherence cohesion
Expand on how advantages and disadvantages outweigh each other more explicitly in separate paragraphs.
task achievement
Use more specific examples to support the main points, ideally with statistical data or authoritative sources.
task achievement
The essay effectively highlights the convenience of internet banking and online education, especially during the coronavirus pandemic, with relevant examples.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, giving the essay a complete structure.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?