IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some cities create housing areas by providing taller buildings other create housing by building houses on a wider area of land what solution is better?

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Some cities prefer to build taller properties for their residents and some prefer to build wider ones. Building skyscrapers and high rises is a better idea
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
these days
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 because we are facing problems
about
Change preposition
with
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 space for living and
also
Linking Words
 tall
buildings
Use synonyms
 are more attractive for people who want to buy them.
Growing
Correct article usage
The growing
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 population in most countries is the reason
which
Correct word choice
why
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 governments should pay attention to
lack
Correct article usage
the lack
show examples
 of space for hordes of people who want to live in cities, so
vertical
Add an article
the vertical
show examples
building
Fix the agreement mistake
buildings
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 can tackle
this
Linking Words
 problem.
For example
Linking Words
, in two areas
with
Change preposition
of
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 exactly the same size but with different styles of building,
one
Use synonyms
 with houses on a wide area and the other
one
Use synonyms
 with tall
buildings
Use synonyms
, the number of people
can
Correct pronoun usage
who can
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 live in tall ones is almost 10 times more than
Use synonyms
one floor
Add a hyphen
one-floor
show examples
buildings
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 is the reason
which
Correct word choice
why
show examples
this
Linking Words
 style of building can play a significant role in addressing the problem of insufficient
spaces
Fix the agreement mistake
space
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.
In addition
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,
due to
Linking Words
 innovative materials and methods of building
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
these days, architects are able to build as tall as they want. Not only
tall
Add a missing verb
do tall
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buildings
Use synonyms
 attract more visitors, but
also
Linking Words
 it is more lucrative for
their
Change the word
the
show examples
 owners of
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
buildings
Use synonyms
 cause in
this
Linking Words
 way, they sell their
house
Fix the agreement mistake
houses
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 to more than just
one
Use synonyms
 person.
Linking Words
This tall
Change the determiner
This tall building
These tall buildings
show examples
buildings
Use synonyms
 can represent a modern style of building which we saw
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 top cities
such
Linking Words
 as London, Toronto and New York. In NY, we have
a
Change the article
an
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 area which is famous for its skyscrapers
that is
Linking Words
 called "Manhattan".
To sum up
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
 living in wider houses can be more comfortable and
eaiser
Correct your spelling
easier
, because of the issues including lack of space
as well as
Linking Words
 following the modern style of architecture, building higher building is a better solution.

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task achievement
Your essay would benefit from clearer and more comprehensive ideas. While you addressed the topic well, some points could be more fully developed. For instance, you mentioned that tall buildings are attractive but did not elaborate on why this is significant beyond a brief mention of profitability.
task achievement
Ensure that your main points are well-supported with relevant examples and explanations. For example, you stated that more people can live in tall buildings but did not provide any statistical data or further evidence to substantiate this claim.
coherence cohesion
Work on creating a more logically structured essay. Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next, and that each point flows naturally from the previous one. This will enhance the readability of your essay.
coherence cohesion
While your introduction and conclusion are present and relatively strong, consider refining them. Your introduction should more clearly outline what you will discuss, and your conclusion should succinctly summarize the main points you've made while reinforcing your argument.
coherence cohesion
You provided a solid conclusion that reiterates your main argument, which is an important aspect of essay writing.
task achievement
You employed relevant examples to support your main points, such as references to Manhattan and well-known cities with skyscrapers, which adds to the richness of your essay.
task achievement
You've addressed the topic quite comprehensively, discussing both space issues and the attractiveness of tall buildings.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • urban density
  • sustainability
  • public transportation
  • green spaces
  • community connections
  • overcrowding
  • economic implications
  • infrastructure impact
  • maintenance costs
  • carbon footprint
  • compact city
  • habitat destruction
  • greenhouse gas emissions
What to do next:
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