Schools should focus on academic success and passing examinations. Skills such as cookery, dressmaking and woodwork should not be taught at school as it is better to learn these from family and friends. To that extent do you agree or disagree.

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Educational institutions are responsible for providing holistic education. In
this
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day and age, vocational subjects are becoming increasingly popular, unlike in the past. I strongly agree that
instead
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of family members and pen pals, education institutes should prioritize non-scholastic achievements.
This
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is because they not only help the youngster to learn an important skill but
also
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be useful in shaping their career. Developing a passion or a hobby begins at an early age. Teaching important life
skills
Use synonyms
,
such
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as cooking, fashion designing or even carpentry during the formative years of a child proves quite advantageous.
Firstly
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, the child can reflect on his abilities and get an opportunity to explore different fields as a youngster.
This
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learning experience in educational organizations amongst their peers is fun-loving and exciting. Teenagers grasp quickly and are keen to experiment with what they have learnt.
Thus
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, learning by doing makes the concept stronger and long-lasting.
Moreover
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, these
skills
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are indispensable for learners with academic difficulties. Each child is unique and has different capabilities. Emphasis on academics solely at the school level
,
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apply
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may leave these special needs children on the back burner. They will be discouraged from attending school
,
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apply
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if they are not offered any activity.
For instance
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, in India, the dropout rates of students from a reputed school in Delhi have reduced by 5% since the introduction of subjects like home science, woodcraft, design and many more. Children even look up to seeking admission to these schools which offer diverse skill development opportunities.
Additionally
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, passion transforming into a career does not take long when life
skills
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execution is done in schools. Adolescents can choose one
such
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skill learnt and build their future if
such
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facilities are offered in the early years of life. They get time for hit and trial, expand their
skills
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further
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and start earning at a tender age. Families with limited income are
also
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motivated to send their children to schools as they realize that they could soon be the breadwinners for their families.
While
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academics are vital for acquiring basic knowledge,
however
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, competence acquisition at academic setups could foster career development and new learning experiences.
Thus
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, I completely believe that vocational studies should be a priority.

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task achievement
While the essay presents a strong argument, consider providing more counterarguments or acknowledging the opposing viewpoint to strengthen your position further.
coherence cohesion
Make sure to use varied linking phrases to enhance the flow between ideas, which will help readers follow your argument more easily.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly states your position and sets up the essay well, capturing the reader’s attention.
task achievement
You provide relevant examples that illustrate your points effectively, such as the dropout rate in Delhi, which adds credibility to your argument.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • academic success
  • passing examinations
  • cookery
  • dressmaking
  • woodwork
  • learn from family and friends
  • personalized learning environment
  • supportive learning environment
  • well-rounded education
  • school curriculum
  • resources
  • expert guidance
  • enhance creativity
  • problem-solving
  • teamwork
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