Write the advantages and disadvantages of child labour.

As we explore our
surrounding
Replace the word
surroundings
show examples
, we are known to silent
struggles
Correct article usage
the struggles
show examples
of innocent
children
behind the doors of factories,farms and industries.
Such
suppression of innocent smiles
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
considered
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
child
labour
.
Beside
Replace the word
Besides
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the
mix
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mixed
show examples
reviews about
this
topic,
child
labour
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
become a growing trend nowadays,making it a crucial scenario to discuss. To the one part of
argument
Add a comma
argument,
show examples
We can perceive
child
labour
from a positive perspective.since the presence of limited job opportunities and hyperinflation,
child
labour
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
become a prominent source of income for families facing economic challenges.
children
bearing their own expenses have put a relief on
primary
Correct article usage
the primary
show examples
income earner of the family.
moreover
,as part of
child
labour
,
children
are indulged in exhausting and repetitive tasks.
such
continuous practice enhances the technical and manual skill set of
children
,increasing their chances
to obtain
Change preposition
of obtaining
show examples
demanding jobs in future.
To
Change preposition
On
show examples
the other side of perspective,
child
labour
can be an abusive act.
Due to
poor working conditions and irrelevant working time schedules,
children
are exploited and forced
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
continuous
Replace the word
continue
show examples
work at the compensation of minimal wages.
This
just not only
create
Correct subject-verb agreement
creates
show examples
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
mental pressure on
children
but
also
disturbs their social life.
While
dedicating sufficient time
of
Change preposition
to
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the day,
children
are deprived of education and social activities.which
further
limits their quality of life. Though
child
labour
is become
Change to the active voice
becomes
has become
show examples
a crucial source
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
survival for families in
such
economic crisis
but
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
in my point of view, it is generally an oppressive action towards
children
,forcing them to sacrifice their precious childhood and rights to obtain education
for enhancing
Change preposition
to enhance
show examples
their career opportunities.
Submitted by tushalk329 on

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coherence cohesion
Work on improving the logical structure of your essay. While the ideas are there, the paragraphs can be made clearer by using more connecting devices and transitional words that link sentences and ideas smoothly.
task achievement
Make sure to support your main points with specific and relevant examples. This helps to strengthen your arguments and provides a more detailed analysis of the issue at hand.
general
Check for grammar and punctuation errors, such as the use of periods or spaces. Ensuring correct punctuation and grammar will improve the clarity and professionalism of your essay.
task achievement
The essay addresses both sides of the issue, providing a balanced view of the advantages and disadvantages of child labour.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clear and relevant to the topic, which helps in presenting a cohesive argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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