The percentage of overweight children in western society has increased by almost 20% in the last ten years. Discuss the causes and effects of this disturbing trend. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

In recent years, the proportion of overweight
children
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in Western countries has risen dramatically, with an increase of almost 20% over the past decade.
This
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trend is widely regarded as alarming because it poses serious risks to both individual
health
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and society as a whole.
This
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essay will discuss the main causes of
this
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issue and examine its effects on
children
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and the wider community. One of the primary causes of childhood obesity is the growing consumption of unhealthy, processed foods. Fast food, sugary snacks, and soft drinks are often cheaper and more convenient than nutritious meals, making them particularly appealing to busy families.
In addition
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, aggressive advertising of high-calorie foods targeted at
children
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encourages poor eating habits from a young age.
As a result
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, many
children
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consume more calories than they burn, leading to excessive weight gain. Another significant factor is the decline in physical activity among
children
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. The widespread use of digital devices,
such
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as smartphones, video games, and streaming services, has led to more sedentary lifestyles. Many
children
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now spend hours indoors rather than engaging in outdoor play or sports.
Furthermore
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, in some urban areas, limited access to safe recreational spaces discourages regular exercise,
further
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contributing to the problem. The effects of
this
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trend are both immediate and long-term. Overweight
children
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are more likely to develop
health
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problems
such
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as diabetes, heart disease, and joint issues later in life.
In addition
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to physical consequences, obesity can negatively affect
children
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’s mental
health
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, leading to low self-esteem and social isolation. From a broader perspective, rising childhood obesity places increasing pressure on healthcare systems and can result in higher public
health
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costs in the future. In conclusion, the sharp rise in overweight
children
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in Western societies is mainly caused by unhealthy diets and increasingly inactive lifestyles. The effects extend beyond individual
health
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, impacting mental well-being and public healthcare systems. Addressing
this
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issue requires coordinated efforts from families, schools, and governments to promote healthier eating habits and encourage regular physical activity.

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content
Add more real life examples to back up your points.
structure
Make the flow from causes to effects clearer in the next draft with a quick plan in the intro.
cohesion
Use more linking words to connect ideas (and, but, also, as a result).
style
Keep sentences simple and clear; avoid long, complex phrases.
content
Explain each point with a bit more detail or data where possible.
structure
Intro and conclusion are present and touch the topic well.
coherence
Paragraphs have clear topic starts that show causes and effects.
content
The main idea is easy to follow and the message is clear.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Topic Vocabulary:
  • overweight
  • obesity
  • caloric intake
  • sedentary lifestyle
  • screen time
  • physical education
  • nutritious
  • psychological well-being
  • self-esteem
  • socioeconomic
  • healthcare system
  • life expectancy
  • obesity-related complications
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