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Band 5

The process below shows how drinking water is made using solar power. Write a report for the university lecturer describing the information given below.

#process #water #power #report #university #lecturer #information
The process illustrates how drinking
water
 is produced with the use of solar energy.
It is clear that
 the process of making drinkable
water
 involves 5 main stages as pointed out below. It begins when energy from sunlight is collected and ends with taking the
water
 produced for use. The first
stage
 commences when solar energy is accumulated using a solar panel and
then
 it is transformed into electricity. Next comes the second
stage
, in which a pump running on electricity is used to force natural
water
 up a pipe.
This
 pipe connects the pump with a filter, whose function is to purify natural
water
, making it drinkable. After the purification
stage
 is the storage
stage
, where decontaminated
water
 is stored in a tank placed
upon
Change preposition
on
show examples
 a wooden platform. Clean
water
 can be drawn from
this
 tank for different purposes like drinking or cooking, and
this
 brings the process to an end.
Submitted by huyentrang712 on

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task achievement
Your report is clear and covers all the essential stages of the process. However, you could enhance your introduction and conclusion by offering a bit more detail or summarizing the overall purpose of the process.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each stage flows smoothly to the next by using appropriate linking words and phrases. For example, introducing the different stages sequentially can better guide the reader through the process.
task achievement
The stages of the process are described accurately and logically.
coherence cohesion
Your essay effectively outlines the fundamental procedure from start to finish.
coherence cohesion
The use of transitional words like 'first stage' and 'next' helps in maintaining a clear sequence.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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