Fast food is now universally in most countries and is becoming increasingly popular. Some feel that this is a positive trend, while others do not. What are your opinion in this?
During the past few decades
fast
Correct article usage
the fast
food
industry has been becomimg
increasingly popular among nations. Correct your spelling
becoming
While
some people claim that this
phenomenon has advantagous
influences Correct your spelling
advantageous
advantages
in
people's lives, others are Change preposition
on
againt
Correct your spelling
against
this
statement. This
essay discusses my point of views
and states why I do not agree with the aforementioned claim.
Fix the agreement mistake
view
To begin
with, being ubiquitous, fast foods
have been a great help to the fast-paced lives of people in current
era. Fast Add an article
the current
food
can help individuals to organise their schedule
more efficiently. Buying fast Fix the agreement mistake
schedules
food
will require 50% less time than be
if one tries to cook lunch or dinnerUnnecessary verb
apply
themselves
. Correct pronoun usage
apply
In addition
, the hunger issue would be tackled easier
with these convenience Rephrase
more easily
foods
. Sticking with fresh and oraganc
products to prepare Correct your spelling
organic
food
is way more expensive than buying fast foods
. Fix the agreement mistake
food
Thus
, if a family are living on a tight budget, eating out will be more cost-effective in relation to the calories they receive.
On the other hand
, although
these ready foods
have some benefits, their drawbacks outweigh the pros. Fast foods
may cause a number of short-term harms to health. For instance
, the
refined carbohydrates and added sugar, Correct article usage
apply
beak
down easily and Correct your spelling
break
consequently
lead to a spike in blood sugar levels. Moreover
, they bring about several long-term detrimental health impacts. As an example, the high-content
of saturated fats in themCorrect your spelling
high content
,
gives rise to high blood pressure and expedites the Remove the comma
apply
buld-up
of atherosclerotic plaques within the heart vessels. Correct your spelling
build-up
This
cascade of events would in turn induce cardiovascular diseases such
as heart attack and stroke in Correct article usage
the long-term
long-term
.
In conclusion, Correct your spelling
long term
inspite
of having some advantages, the prevalence of fast Correct your spelling
in spite
food
trend has some downsides that are significantly more hazardous to human
body system.Add an article
the human
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task achievement
Your task response is generally good, but there are a few areas that could be improved. While you discuss both the benefits and drawbacks of fast food, you could elaborate more on your points. Make sure you present a balanced discussion by providing more examples and expanding on why some people view it as beneficial.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, try to connect your ideas better. The introduction and conclusion are present, but there could be a clearer transition between paragraphs. Use linking words and phrases more effectively to guide the reader through your argument.
general
Some minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasing are present. For instance, "some people claim that this phenomenon has advantagous influences in people's lives" could be clearer as "some people claim that this phenomenon has beneficial effects on people's lives." Proofreading your work can help reduce such errors.
structure
You have a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
task achievement
You provided specific examples to support your main points, which strengthens your argument.
coherence cohesion
Your main points are supported, and you present both sides of the argument, showing a thoughtful consideration of the topic.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example