in recent years, there has been a rise in the use of performance-enhancing drugs in sports. What are the consequences of doping for athletes? What measures should be taken to combat this issue?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
From
Change preposition
In
show examples
the past few years, the use of banned
drugs
in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
competitive games has
become
Verb problem
apply
show examples
surged drastically in order to boost
athlete's'
Change noun form
athletes'
show examples
performance, resulting
into
Change preposition
in
show examples
a number of alarming consequences
what
Correct word choice
that
show examples
should be highlighted and
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
addressed at the earliest by finding
out
Change preposition
apply
show examples
some appropriate
solution
Fix the agreement mistake
solutions
show examples
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
the same. Both
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
the outcomes and
solutions
will be discussed in the following paragraphs. When it comes to the results of the use of performance-enhancing
drugs
, the major and fatal
consequence
Fix the agreement mistake
consequences
show examples
can be seen physically and psychologically. The consumption of these
drugs
can affect the heartbeat;
increase
Correct word choice
and increase
show examples
or increase the speed of blood circulation.
As a result
, a sportsman may
dies
Change the verb form
die
show examples
due to
heartbeat fluctuations.
Likewise
, the frequent use of
drugs
leads
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
athlete
Fix the agreement mistake
athletes
show examples
to guilt, anxiety, and stress which not only jeopardize athlete's career but
also
their mental health.
Thus
,
does
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
a small amount of high-spirits
drugs
can have severe ripple effects.
For example
, a report published by the World Health Organization has stated that
steroids
Fix the agreement mistake
steroid
show examples
ejaculation is the prominent drug,
what
Correct word choice
that
show examples
causes 1/4
deaths
Change preposition
of deaths
show examples
of the weight-lifters. When it comes to the
solutions
, the most effective one, I believe, is the stricter drug testing protocols. To be more specific, the dope tests prior to the competitive games may sound like a prudent approach that sports authorities can take in order to combat doping.
Secondly
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
immediate action should be necessary, if a
sports person
Correct your spelling
sportsperson
show examples
failed
Wrong verb form
fails
show examples
in anti-drug testing.
The
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Government officials ought to introduce stringent laws, including harsher penalties for offenders. Only by recognizing strict punishments the sports individuals
will
Verb problem
apply
show examples
think twice before taking any performance-boosting substance. To cite an example, after finding
out
Change preposition
apply
show examples
two swimmers guilty
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
consuming
drugs
in the Commonwealth Games, the authorities imposed longer bands, have your fines, and advanced their drug detection technologies. In conclusion, as every problem comes with its own
Solutions
,
similarly
, the issue of rising performance-enhancing
drugs
for better performance has both causes
as well as
solutions
. I opine that to resolve
this
problem the government needs to take certain stringent yardsticks.
Submitted by rajwants.1997 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Grammar
Proofread for minor grammatical errors, such as incorrect verb forms (e.g., 'may dies' should be 'may die') and article usage (e.g., 'the heartbeat' should be 'heartbeat').
Vocabulary
The essay could benefit from more precise vocabulary and varied sentence structures to convey ideas more clearly and effectively. Avoiding phrases like 'a number of' and using more specific terms can make your argument stronger.
Task Achievement
Try to provide more detailed and specific examples or data to support your points. This will enhance the credibility of your arguments and demonstrate thorough understanding.
Coherence and Cohesion
The paragraphs can be linked more effectively using transition words or phrases (e.g., 'In addition', 'Moreover'). This improves the flow of the essay and enhances coherence.
Introduction
The introduction effectively sets the context for the discussion on doping and its related issues in sports.
Task Achievement
The essay identifies two distinct points related to consequences (physical and psychological effects) and solutions (testing protocols and legal actions), showing a balanced approach towards analyzing the problem.
Conclusion
There is a clear conclusion that summarizes the points made in the essay and offers a concise opinion on the need for government intervention.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Performance-enhancing drugs (PEDs)
  • Doping
  • Anabolic steroids
  • Health ramifications
  • Stigmatization
  • Disqualification
  • Anti-doping agencies
  • Therapeutic Use Exemptions (TUEs)
  • Integrity of sports
  • Biological passport
  • In-competition testing
  • Out-of-competition testing
  • Whistleblower
  • Ban substances
  • Suspension
  • World Anti-Doping Agency (WADA)
What to do next:
Look at other essays: