in recent years, there has been a rise in the use of performance-enhancing drugs in sports. What are the consequences of doping for athletes? What measures should be taken to combat this issue?
From
the past few years, the use of banned Change preposition
In
drugs
in the
competitive games has Correct article usage
apply
become
surged drastically in order to boost Verb problem
apply
athlete's'
performance, resulting Change noun form
athletes'
into
a number of alarming consequences Change preposition
in
what
should be highlighted and Correct word choice
that
be
addressed at the earliest by finding Unnecessary verb
apply
out
some appropriate Change preposition
apply
solution
Fix the agreement mistake
solutions
of
the same. Both Change preposition
for
are
the outcomes and Unnecessary verb
apply
solutions
will be discussed in the following paragraphs.
When it comes to the results of the use of performance-enhancing drugs
, the major and fatal consequence
can be seen physically and psychologically. The consumption of these Fix the agreement mistake
consequences
drugs
can affect the heartbeat; increase
or increase the speed of blood circulation. Correct word choice
and increase
As a result
, a sportsman may dies
Change the verb form
die
due to
heartbeat fluctuations. Likewise
, the frequent use of drugs
leads and
Correct word choice
apply
athlete
to guilt, anxiety, and stress which not only jeopardize athlete's career but Fix the agreement mistake
athletes
also
their mental health. Thus
, does
a small amount of high-spirits Unnecessary verb
apply
drugs
can have severe ripple effects. For example
, a report published by the World Health Organization has stated that steroids
ejaculation is the prominent drug, Fix the agreement mistake
steroid
what
causes 1/4 Correct word choice
that
deaths
of the weight-lifters.
When it comes to the Change preposition
of deaths
solutions
, the most effective one, I believe, is the stricter drug testing protocols. To be more specific, the dope tests prior to the competitive games may sound like a prudent approach that sports authorities can take in order to combat doping. Secondly
, the
immediate action should be necessary, if a Correct article usage
apply
sports person
Correct your spelling
sportsperson
failed
in anti-drug testing. Wrong verb form
fails
The
Government officials ought to introduce stringent laws, including harsher penalties for offenders. Only by recognizing strict punishments the sports individuals Correct article usage
apply
will
think twice before taking any performance-boosting substance. To cite an example, after finding Verb problem
apply
out
two swimmers guilty Change preposition
apply
for
consuming Change preposition
of
drugs
in the Commonwealth Games, the authorities imposed longer bands, have your fines, and advanced their drug detection technologies.
In conclusion, as every problem comes with its own Solutions
, similarly
, the issue of rising performance-enhancing drugs
for better performance has both causes as well as
solutions
. I opine that to resolve this
problem the government needs to take certain stringent yardsticks.Submitted by rajwants.1997 on
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Grammar
Proofread for minor grammatical errors, such as incorrect verb forms (e.g., 'may dies' should be 'may die') and article usage (e.g., 'the heartbeat' should be 'heartbeat').
Vocabulary
The essay could benefit from more precise vocabulary and varied sentence structures to convey ideas more clearly and effectively. Avoiding phrases like 'a number of' and using more specific terms can make your argument stronger.
Task Achievement
Try to provide more detailed and specific examples or data to support your points. This will enhance the credibility of your arguments and demonstrate thorough understanding.
Coherence and Cohesion
The paragraphs can be linked more effectively using transition words or phrases (e.g., 'In addition', 'Moreover'). This improves the flow of the essay and enhances coherence.
Introduction
The introduction effectively sets the context for the discussion on doping and its related issues in sports.
Task Achievement
The essay identifies two distinct points related to consequences (physical and psychological effects) and solutions (testing protocols and legal actions), showing a balanced approach towards analyzing the problem.
Conclusion
There is a clear conclusion that summarizes the points made in the essay and offers a concise opinion on the need for government intervention.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.