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Writing Samples /
Band 5

The line graph and pie chart below show information on crime in the UK for the last year. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The line graph and pie chart below show information on crime in the UK for the last year. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#line #show #information #crime #uk #year #summarise #features #comparisons
First
Add a comma
First,
show examples
 you see
tow
Correct your spelling
two
show examples
 charts the line and pie chart below
show
Change the verb form
shows
show examples
 information on
crime
 in the UK
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
last
 year , The relationship between age and
crime
 ,
form
Correct your spelling
from
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 0 until 8 the is no number of
crime
Fix the agreement mistake
crimes
show examples
,
its
Correct pronoun usage
it
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 beginning from 12 ,and the
rate
 of
crime
the
Change preposition
at the
show examples
 age
20
Change preposition
of 20
show examples
high
Add a missing verb
was high
show examples
rate
 all the
last
 year , if you
looking
Wrong verb form
look
show examples
 at the chart you will see the
rate
 stare low when age got older ,the range
crime
 people
its
Replace the word
it's
it is
show examples
 between 12-40 years old ,and the higher
rate
 in the twenties until 28 ,in the twentieth
its
Replace the word
it's
it is
show examples
 about 80%. And when we looked at the char of types of
Crime
 in the UK
its
Replace the word
it's
it is
show examples
 about less half violent
crime
 about 46%, and the
less
Correct your spelling
lens
show examples
 type
its
Correct your spelling
is
show examples
 public order
crime
 its about 9%
Submitted by shahadht12 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last".
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Linking words: Add more linking words.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 89%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words crime, rate with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "show" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 4 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • The line graph depicts
  • The pie chart illustrates
  • reveals
  • displays
  • depicts
  • the trend of
  • the overall crime rate
  • steadily decreased
  • the distribution of
  • different types of crime
  • prevalent
  • accounts for
  • the most common crime
  • followed by
  • make up
  • a smaller proportion of
  • the total crimes
  • a smaller percentage
  • approximately
  • the remaining percentage
  • It is important to note that
  • reflects
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