Most people believe that social media such as facebook and instagram negatively impact on society and individuals. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#people #media #facebook #instagram #impact #society #individuals

Firstly

, Social

media

just like any other thing in

this

life has its downsides and upsides, In that case, the downsides of social

media

are it separates the population from reality, folk get used to texting their friends

instead

of meeting them, it seems to me that it made social anxiety affects more individuals than the past.

Secondly

, The upside of social

media

is it gives us the opportunity to meet folk from all over the world and interact with different cultures,

people

from the UK can make friends in the USA without worrying about the long distance and

thats

Correct your spelling

that

a huge advantage.

Finally

, Social

media

can affect us in either a good way or a bad way it seems to me that it depends on how

people

are using it so if they overuse it it can be

Rephrase

apply

show examples

harmful to society, but if they use it right and keep a balance it will be so great for society. In conclusion,

People

do use social

media

in a bad way they spend most of their time using it without interacting with the real world, it looks like

people

have forgotten the importance of social skills so I strongly agree with the statement.

Submitted by slmansamiatti3178388 on Sat Jun 08 2024

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coherence/cohesion

Try to provide a clear introduction that presents the topic and your stance on it.

task achievement

Include more specific examples to support your main points for a stronger argument.

coherence/cohesion

Improve transitions between paragraphs for a smoother flow of ideas.

coherence/cohesion

Avoid repetitive phrases and ensure diversity in sentence structure.

coherence/cohesion

The essay concludes by restating the main argument, providing a clear position on the issue.

task achievement

You addressed both the positive and negative aspects of social media, showing a well-rounded understanding.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

204 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

detrimental
dysfunctional
impede
adverse
compulsive
obsessive
inherently
undermine
vulnerable
censorship
exploitation
vicious cycle
isolation
fraudulent
dissemination
manipulation
creativity
engagement
tolerance

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Most people believe that social media such as facebook and instagram negatively impact on society and individuals. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Studies show that many people in the prison have low level of education. For this reason, some people believe that the best way to reduce crime is to educate in prison, so that they can get a job when they leave prison. To what extent do you agree?

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