Some universities offer online courses as an alternative to classes delivered on campus. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

It is true that online
classes
are
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
different mutation of campus, some
college
Fix the agreement mistake
colleges
show examples
would like to hold
this
type of
classes
in their curriculum.
Although
this
trend appears detrimental drawbacks because of the
students
' health
as well as
the distraction, I believe they are eclipsed by the advantages
due to
the
conveniece
Correct your spelling
convenience
and operational costs. It is vital to understand that many
students
are likely to be harmed by binge-watching
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
affects
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their health.
Students
have to focus on learning lessons through the light screen. Their eyes, after studying for
a
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apply
show examples
long hours , they become tired and dry, giving rise to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
eyes
Change the noun form
eye
show examples
diseases.
Furthermore
,
students
tend to be distracted when they engage in online courses.
For example
, my brother usually
participate
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participates
show examples
in studying
through
Change preposition
apply
show examples
online,
he
Correct word choice
but he
show examples
find
Change the verb form
finds
show examples
it difficult to concentrate on their lessons because many entertaining things
appeals
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appeal
show examples
him
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to him
show examples
to play
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
, which has negative effects on their performance. Notwithstanding, there are some advantages
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
holding
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
classes
.
Firstly
, many universities could reduce their operational costs
through
Change preposition
by
show examples
teaching online. In fact, If
students
go to the place to
study
, the school have to pay the cost of electricity and the cleaners.
Therefore
, online courses are the better options on campus in many universities nowadays.
Secondly
, because of the convenience,
students
who stay in
the
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apply
show examples
remote
place
Fix the agreement mistake
places
show examples
or get
illness
Replace the word
ill
show examples
could
study
without absence. Much scientific evidence
indicate
Change the verb form
indicates
show examples
that people who are
illness
Replace the word
ill
show examples
couldn't go to school and
study
. Thanks to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
online courses, people
could
Wrong verb form
can
show examples
study
whereas
they stay at home, which helps them approach the lessons sufficiently. In conclusion, online
classes
seem an alternative to campus in many universities. I argue that the benefits of it
due to
convenience and reduction in cost outweigh the
disadvantage
Fix the agreement mistake
disadvantages
show examples
such
as distraction and health .
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task achievement
To strengthen your essay, try to provide more specific examples and evidence to support your points. This will make your argument more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Work on ensuring that each paragraph has a clear central topic and that your ideas flow logically from one to the next. This will help improve the coherence of your essay.
general
Pay attention to grammatical accuracy and sentence structure to enhance clarity and comprehensibility.
task achievement
You have adequately addressed the task and included both positive and negative aspects of online courses.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in framing your argument.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • flexibility
  • accessibility
  • tuition fees
  • commuting
  • accommodation
  • multimedia
  • interactive tools
  • enhance
  • cater to
  • face-to-face interaction
  • personalized attention
  • complex concepts
  • motivation
  • discipline
  • structure
  • extracurricular activities
  • networking
  • university experience
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