Research shows that business meetings, discussions and training are happening online nowadays. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Novel development of the online platform has
been
Verb problem
had
show examples
a considerable impact
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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business and educational meetings
according to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
recent studies. Despite
of
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apply
show examples
its drawbacks, it has many more benefits, in the view of the writer.
The online
Correct article usage
Online
show examples
gathering serves
many
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in many
show examples
ways for the consumers. The foremost factor is that everyone is
possible
Correct word choice
able
show examples
to attend
to
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apply
show examples
the discussion without
concerning
Replace the word
concern about
show examples
their destination.
This
has extended
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
employee hiring for organizations all over the world, enabling remote working, and
also
, the teaching is capable of conducting lectures remotely.
Furthermore
, another crucial benefit is the comfortable working environment.
Individuals
Add a verb
Individuals are
Individuals were
show examples
more likely to work in their convenient place,
such
as their home, which significantly
increase
Correct subject-verb agreement
increases
show examples
the efficiency of working.
For example
, studies reveal that 35%
of
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apply
show examples
dramatical rise
of
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in
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the performance of software developers in Sri Lanka, when they work remotely in their safe and competent place.
On the other hand
, there are some challenges to
maintain
Wrong verb form
maintaining
show examples
a healthy lifestyle. Online working
thoroughly
Add a missing verb
is thoroughly
show examples
bound with the smart screen, which
cause
Change the verb form
causes
show examples
to
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apply
show examples
the degradation of eyesight.
Also
,
phycologists
Correct your spelling
psychologists
show examples
state that
this
development has a huge impact on persons’ mental health. Some statistics in the medical sector in the USA,
for instance
,
shows
Correct subject-verb agreement
show
show examples
that students who are using online training, are suffering from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
problems in their vision
at
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apply
show examples
20% out of
total
Add an article
the total
a total
show examples
, and 39% from depression. In conclusion, despite
to
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apply
show examples
the fact that the internet has led people to unhealthy living, conducting meetings, discussions, and lectures using the wide network has provided substantial benefits
such
as
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
remote access and
flexible
Correct article usage
a flexible
show examples
working environment.
Submitted by kavinduanupama20 on

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coherence and cohesion
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task achievement
On Task Achievement, ensure your arguments are more balanced by discussing advantages and disadvantages with equal depth. Provide more relevant and specific examples to support your points.
language accuracy
Pay attention to grammatical accuracy and sentence structure. Some sentences are awkwardly phrased, which affects clarity. Consider proofreading and editing for grammatical errors.
lexical resource
Expand your vocabulary with more precise and varied word choices to improve clarity and to avoid repetition.
task achievement
You have directly addressed the essay prompt and made a clear stance which is good for task achievement.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present and adequately summarize the main points of your essay, enhancing overall coherence.
task achievement
Your essay includes relevant examples that help to illustrate your points, which adds to task achievement.

Your opinion

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If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • virtual collaboration
  • teleconferencing
  • webinar
  • remote access
  • cost efficiency
  • cultural diversity
  • interactive platform
  • networking opportunity
  • sustainability
  • carbon footprint
  • cybersecurity
  • encryption
  • bandwidth
  • digital divide
  • screen fatigue
  • team cohesion
  • asynchronous communication
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