IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Research shows that business meetings, discussions and training are happening online nowadays. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

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Novel development of the online platform has
been
Verb problem
had
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 a considerable impact
for
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on
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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business and educational meetings
according to
Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
apply
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recent studies. Despite
of
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apply
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its drawbacks, it has many more benefits, in the view of the writer.
The online
Correct article usage
Online
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 gathering serves
many
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in many
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 ways for the consumers. The foremost factor is that everyone is
possible
Correct word choice
able
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 to attend
to
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apply
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the discussion without
concerning
Replace the word
concern about
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 their destination.
This
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 has extended
the
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apply
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employee hiring for organizations all over the world, enabling remote working, and
also
Linking Words
, the teaching is capable of conducting lectures remotely.
Furthermore
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, another crucial benefit is the comfortable working environment.
Individuals
Add a verb
Individuals are
Individuals were
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 more likely to work in their convenient place,
such
Linking Words
 as their home, which significantly
increase
Correct subject-verb agreement
increases
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 the efficiency of working.
For example
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, studies reveal that 35%
of
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apply
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dramatical rise
of
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in
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 the performance of software developers in Sri Lanka, when they work remotely in their safe and competent place.
On the other hand
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, there are some challenges to
maintain
Wrong verb form
maintaining
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 a healthy lifestyle. Online working
thoroughly
Add a missing verb
is thoroughly
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 bound with the smart screen, which
cause
Change the verb form
causes
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to
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apply
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the degradation of eyesight.
Also
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,
phycologists
Correct your spelling
psychologists
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 state that
this
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 development has a huge impact on persons’ mental health. Some statistics in the medical sector in the USA,
for instance
Linking Words
,
shows
Correct subject-verb agreement
show
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 that students who are using online training, are suffering from
the
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apply
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problems in their vision
at
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apply
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20% out of
total
Add an article
the total
a total
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, and 39% from depression. In conclusion, despite
to
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apply
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the fact that the internet has led people to unhealthy living, conducting meetings, discussions, and lectures using the wide network has provided substantial benefits
such
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 as
the
Correct article usage
apply
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remote access and
flexible
Correct article usage
a flexible
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 working environment.

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coherence and cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, try to ensure smooth transitions between ideas and paragraphs. Use a variety of cohesive devices more effectively.
task achievement
On Task Achievement, ensure your arguments are more balanced by discussing advantages and disadvantages with equal depth. Provide more relevant and specific examples to support your points.
language accuracy
Pay attention to grammatical accuracy and sentence structure. Some sentences are awkwardly phrased, which affects clarity. Consider proofreading and editing for grammatical errors.
lexical resource
Expand your vocabulary with more precise and varied word choices to improve clarity and to avoid repetition.
task achievement
You have directly addressed the essay prompt and made a clear stance which is good for task achievement.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present and adequately summarize the main points of your essay, enhancing overall coherence.
task achievement
Your essay includes relevant examples that help to illustrate your points, which adds to task achievement.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • virtual collaboration
  • teleconferencing
  • webinar
  • remote access
  • cost efficiency
  • cultural diversity
  • interactive platform
  • networking opportunity
  • sustainability
  • carbon footprint
  • cybersecurity
  • encryption
  • bandwidth
  • digital divide
  • screen fatigue
  • team cohesion
  • asynchronous communication
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