Scientists believe that computers will become more intelligent than human beings. Some say it is a positive development while others say it is a negative development. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Some people believe that computer science will extremely succeed in the future and evolutionary
technologies
will become more intelligent than humanity
in general. This
makes people concerned regarding upcoming negative, rather positive effects that this
progression can cause.
It is worth considering that, compared to the last
century, our lives have changed dramatically due to
present-day
influence of informational Correct article usage
the present-day
technologies
. It is agreed, that commonness became considerably convenient and stressfulness owing to contemporary inventions which have simplified our being. For instance
, a few years ago a presentation of artificial intelligence significantly impressed the world with its outstanding possibility of any species of online problem-solving, furthermore
the recent update of a widely-known artificial intelligence application, which is called ‘Chat GPT’, has already convinced humanity
that futuristic and robotized future is already here. Consequently
, with such
a potential capacity of current technologies
, there is no doubt that computer devices sooner or later will manage the world.
Another thing to consider is the negative involve on individual’s
mental and physical state which Correct article usage
an individual’s
this
technology can induce. We can assume that since the arrival of the aforementioned innovations, people commenced to be more inactive and neglected, thus
for mega-mind they would be an easy target to control. I believe that shortly, computerized high intelligence would not be restricted to obtain
any existing knowledge, Wrong verb form
obtaining
as a result
, a
probability of total commanding on Correct article usage
the
humanity
could be ended by human extermination.
Taking everything into consideration, it is outstanding to reside in such
a modernized age and to be a witness to these crucial adjustments. However
, if we allow technologies
to lead the world, humanity
can be suppressed.Submitted by yulia_regulich on
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task achievement
You have provided a reasonable discussion on both views about the topic. However, to strengthen the task achievement, consider providing more specific examples and elaborating your arguments further. This will make your essay more compelling and comprehensive.
coherence cohesion
While your essay has a logical structure, some sentences are a bit hard to follow due to complex phrasing. Try to simplify your language to improve clarity. Additionally, make sure to proofread to correct grammatical errors and awkward phrasing.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction and conclusion are present and provide a clear structure to your essay.
task achievement
You have a good understanding of the topic and have attempted to provide a balanced view on both sides of the argument.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.