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Writing Samples
Band 5

The world of work is forever changing at a fast pace. Working conditions today are not the same as before and people no longer rely on taking one job for life. Discuss the possible causes for these changes and give your suggestions for how people should prepare themselves for work in the future.

#world #work #pace #conditions #people #job #life #changes #suggestions #future
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Nowadays,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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work life
Add a hyphen
work-life
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 has altered so fast and
the
Correct article usage
apply
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people
 can not depend on
the
Correct article usage
apply
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today’s
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
. Sometimes, the employee can be suddenly changed by other individuals or even by artificial
intellegent
Correct your spelling
intelligence
intelligent
. The reasons
of
Change preposition
for
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this
phenomena
Fix the agreement mistake
phenomenon
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 are
because
Correct word choice
apply
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the development of technologies
as well as
low
Correct article usage
the low
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 level of human quality so
that
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apply
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some
of
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apply
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suggestions should be made to tackle
this situations
Change the determiner
this situation
these situations
show examples
. Both causes and
advices
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advice
pieces of advice
bits of advice
show examples
 will be elaborated below. It is widely known that the advancement of technology is
one
 of the reasons why
the
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apply
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people
sometime
Replace the word
sometimes
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 change
the
Change the word
their
show examples
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
for
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from
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one
 company to
the others
Correct your spelling
another
show examples
.
This
 condition is
a
Change the article
apply
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common in
this
 modern era. It
happens
Wrong verb form
happened
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 in Dompu, Nusa
tenggara
Change the capitalization
Tenggara
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 barat (
one
 of the
country
Change to a plural noun
countries
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 in Indonesia)
which
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where
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 the head office
try
Wrong verb form
tried
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 to reduce the total of teachers in the school because
the
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of the
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 low level of human creativity
and
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apply
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finally
, the head office
prefer
Correct subject-verb agreement
prefers
show examples
 to utilize online applications
such
 as “ Free4talk, speakpal,
grammarly
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Grammarly
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 or others” which are more attractive.
Besides
, using
techonology
Correct your spelling
technology
 can
also
 reduce
the
Correct article usage
apply
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cost
Fix the agreement mistake
costs
show examples
 or expenditures because they
do
Verb problem
are
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 not
require
Wrong verb form
required
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 to pay the tutor.
However
,
this
 condition can not be denied
that
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and
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 some
advices
Change the wording
advice
pieces of advice
bits of advice
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 should be given to tackle
this problems
Change the determiner
this problem
these problems
show examples
.
One
 of the solutions is that
the
Correct article usage
apply
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people
 should have good values
such
 as creativity to attract the manager to maintain their work. The
people
 should have not only good value but
also
 have multitalented skills.
For instance
, in the entertainment world, the manager will be more like
to
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apply
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the
individuals
Fix the agreement mistake
individual
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 who can be an actor,
a
Correct word choice
or a
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singer in
one
 project. It can
be conclude
Change the verb form
be concluded
show examples
 that the cause of the changes
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 work life is
because
Correct word choice
apply
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the advancement of technology or AI which is made of many
scienties
Correct your spelling
scientists
 in
this
 modern era. Some of
Add an article
the suggestion
show examples
suggestion
Fix the agreement mistake
suggestions
show examples
to
Change preposition
for
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this
 condition is the employee should adapt
with
Change preposition
to
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 the technology and have more creativity and skills.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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task achievement
Focus on addressing the prompt directly. While the essay mentions technological advancements and the need for creativity, the reasons behind these changes could be expanded further, such as globalization and shifting economic landscapes.
coherence cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and logical progression of ideas. This will help ensure the essay is easy to follow.
task achievement
Include more specific examples to support your points. This will increase the relevance and impact of your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Ensure a smoother transition between paragraphs to improve readability. Using cohesive devices and linking words will enhance the flow of the essay.
general language use
Be mindful of linguistic accuracy and diversity. Small grammatical errors, such as verb tense inconsistencies and spelling mistakes, can impact clarity.
task achievement
The essay does a good job of highlighting the impact of technology on job stability and suggests relevant solutions for future preparedness.
coherence cohesion
The introduction sets up the context well, and the conclusion effectively summarizes the main points.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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