IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Social media have a negative impact do you agree or not

#media #impact
Most
nation
Fix the agreement mistake
nations
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 think that social
media
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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malignant
Add an article
a malignant
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 effect on youth.other
people
 think social
media
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 crucial for our lives today. In my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
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 I think social apps have brought the worst to humanity today. In the beginning, social
media
 trends influence
users
 ,
specially
Replace the word
especially
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users
 from Generation Z,to mimic what they watch on
the
Correct article usage
apply
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social
media
.If a famous influencer has done something unacceptable,young
people
 will mimic it.A prominent example is TikTok where
people
 try to mimic any kind of videos that they see so that they can be a trend.
This
 example shows that
users
 are hungry for both pride and attention and these kinds of traits were absent before social
media
.
On the other hand
,most of content on the social
media
 is uncensored.When youth or children watch that kind of content without any restrictions, it affects their behaviour for the worse.
For instance
,some influencers are invading social
media
 with false news which can affect
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
public opinion for their purpose.What can be said is that without restrictions on content,
people
 could spread hate and violence easily.
Moreover
,the more youth depend on social
media
 the more it is very hard for them to get rid of it. In conclusion,
after
this
 essay has shown why social
media
 have a negative impact on both behaviour and using false information can shift
people
's opinions for the worse,I think
people
 must focus more on spending their time on useful things like developing new skills
instead
 of wasting their time on social
media
 and it is the obligation of authorities to find ways to restrict social
media
 and
censore
Correct your spelling
censored
censor
 what appear to
users
 on social
media
.
Submitted by ahmedteleb500 on

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coherence cohesion
To improve the logical structure, ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea that is fully developed. Avoid jumping from one idea to another within the same paragraph. Additionally, make sure that transitions between paragraphs are smooth and logical.
task achievement
Make your main points and arguments clearer by elaborating more on each of them. Use more specific examples and evidence to support your claims. This will demonstrate a deeper understanding of the issue and strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion which frame the discussion well.
task achievement
The essay addresses the task prompt directly and provides relevant points on the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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