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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Your share your room with another student in the college hostel. You find it very difficult to study there because he or she always has parties and friends visiting. Write a letter to the hostel warden complaining about your displeasure with the room mate.

#room #student #college #hostel #study #parties #friends #warden #displeasure #mate
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Dear Mr James, I am writing
this
 letter to express my displeasure and complaint about my roommate John. Right from his day 1 in the
room
 I am finding it difficult to stay in the
room
.
Moreover
, it
his
Add a missing verb
is his
show examples
 irresponsible behaviour which is causing problems.
In addition
 to that, his
friends’
Change noun form
friends
show examples
 daily visits him and he
spend
Change the verb form
spends
show examples
entire
Add an article
the entire
an entire
show examples
 evening chatting with them loudly. They play loud music and talk continuously. I often told him
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
that I
am
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
 getting disturbed by his behaviour, but he did not take any action on that. He
also
 arranges parties in the
room
 and
invite
Change the verb form
invites
show examples
 all his friends which makes
noise
Add an article
the noise
show examples
 louder and
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
 my life difficult. I often request him to stop partying in the
room
 as I am not able to concentrate on
studies
Correct pronoun usage
my studies
show examples
. He
also
 plays
music
Correct article usage
the music
show examples
 system loud which is a cause of concern for me. I hope you
would
Wrong verb form
will
show examples
 take strict action against him. Yours sincerely, Steve Mayers
Submitted by yash334 on

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task achievement
Ensure clarity and specificity in your complaints. For example, provide specific instances of disturbances caused by your roommate rather than generalize.
coherence cohesion
Check for grammatical errors and sentence structure. For instance, 'In addition to that, his friends’ daily visits him' should be revised to 'In addition to that, his friends visit him daily.'
task achievement
The letter maintains a formal tone appropriate for the context.
coherence cohesion
The paragraphs are organized to cover a single main idea each, enhancing readability.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • hostel warden
  • cohabitation
  • disruptive behavior
  • communal living
  • academic performance
  • conducive to studying
  • nocturnal activities
  • amicable resolution
  • accommodation request
  • policy enforcement
  • distraction
  • sleep deprivation
  • noise level
  • mediate
  • courtesy
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