Most people believe that social media such as facebook and instagram negatively impact on society and individuals. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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There is no denying the fact that most
people
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believe that social
medai
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media
have
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has
show examples
impact
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an impact
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on society.
While
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it is a commonly held belief the impact of
instagram
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Instagram
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and
facebook
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Facebook
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in society , there is
also
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an argument that opposes it . In my opinion , I consider that social media have in desadvandeg and
advandeg
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advanced
in our community.
To begin
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with,
instagram
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Instagram
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have
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has
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been a great way to
coumoncate
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communicate
with other
people
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. In other
wards
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words
show examples
, it helps to find new friends and to
built
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build
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relationships with
diffirent
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different
culture
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cultures
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.
In addition
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, when you become a social person that
while
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helps you
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for
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, for
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example,
can makes
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make
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a great career and sometimes
to
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apply
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find a job . Another point to consider
the
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is the
show examples
disadvantages of it and it is probably a disaster that
affect
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affects
show examples
your life.It is
also
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possible to say that can make other
people
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lost
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lose
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their jobs and
lost
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lose
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avrything
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everything
that.
Moreover
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the possibility of losing your family and friends. For instant, when someone
hack
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hacks
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your account that
while
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lead to a lot
af
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of
problemes
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problems
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as I
seed
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said
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may you
lost
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lose
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your family and friends because of popleashing a thing that
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while
Correct word choice
apply
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make
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makes
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you
Correct pronoun usage
your
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family payfort. In conclusion,despite
people
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having different views, I believe that the positive effects
is
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are
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more than is negative impact.
Submitted by witan.mutairi on

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Spelling
You need to proofread your essays carefully. Pay attention to spelling errors such as 'medai,' 'desadvandeg,' 'coubmoncate,' 'diffirent,' 'avrything,' 'problemes,' and 'popleashing.' Use appropriate tools or ask someone else to help you identify and correct these mistakes.
Idea Development
Work on providing clearer and more comprehensive ideas with well-structured and elaborate examples. Some points are vague and not fully explained; for example, how social media can negatively impact one's job or family relationships requires more elaboration.
Paragraph Structure
Ensure you have a clear structure within each paragraph by starting with a topic sentence and following with supported details and examples. This will enhance the logical flow of your writing.
Vocabulary and Grammar
Your essay would benefit from more varied vocabulary and sentence structures. Try to use a range of grammatical constructions and more sophisticated vocabulary to add depth to your writing.
Balanced Argument
You have made a commendable effort by including both positive and negative impacts of social media, which provides a balanced view.
Structure
You have included an introduction and conclusion, which gives your essay a complete structure.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • detrimental
  • dysfunctional
  • impede
  • adverse
  • compulsive
  • obsessive
  • inherently
  • undermine
  • vulnerable
  • censorship
  • exploitation
  • vicious cycle
  • isolation
  • fraudulent
  • dissemination
  • manipulation
  • creativity
  • engagement
  • tolerance
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